"Extreme Parenting"

It sounds like a cross between an X-Games sport, a show with Ty Pennington screaming in a bullhorn, and one of those shows where the nanny comes and takes over your house.

Well, that's not what "extreme parenting" is? According to these articles from CNN, "extreme parenting" is what sociologists and psychologists are calling a new trend in parenting styles.

You know you're an extreme parent, if...

Going to extreme measures for child athletes


This is an interesting trend we're seeing in today's world. I see it in schools, on ball fields all over the suburbs, and in families all around us. So, where's the balance? Do you think this is a "dangerous" trend?

On the scale from "extreme" to "apathetic," where do you see yourself?

Interruptions...they're going to happen...

Paul Tripp discusses how one of the key components/qualities of good parenting is "prepared spontaneity." Sounds like an paradox, but in reality you CAN prepare for the "interruptions" that will undoubtedly happen as a parent of children.


Read up, parents! - Parenting: It's Never an Interruption

This dude knows what he's talking about!

A little Thursday humor...

Here are a few videos that I found amusing.

The first one puts a whole new light on the family "camping" trip. I've been on a few, and he might be on to something here.





These are some classics from Tim Hawkins on moms and parenting.





Enjoy!

Your Marriage is a Sermon...

In other words, your marriage preaches something, and it preaches it constantly to all kinds of people. Most notably of those people are your children. Your marriage constantly, consistently, and silently preaches to your children.

In his book, "Gospel Powered Parenting," William Farley talks about the how your marriage preaches and who your marriage preaches to. It's a helpful reminder for those of us who are married.

“This mystery [marriage] is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” Here is Paul’s point. From before time began, God had marriage on his mind. He was preparing a bride for his Son, whom he would marry forever. It would take the crucifixion and resurrection of the Groom to bring this marriage to pass. Think of it. God created the most intimate human relationship, marriage, to speak of the intimacy of his relationship with his church.

God created the institution of human marriage to reflect, or mirror forth, this eternal union. In other words, human marriage exists to point men and angels to the eternal marriage of Christ and his church. The gospel made this divine marriage possible. Here is our point: human marriage exists to preach the gospel. It exists to illustrate the fruit that should follow the preaching of the gospel in the church.

To whom does our marriage preach? Of course, the first audience is God and his angels. They watch and rejoice, or if our marriage is a war zone, they grieve.

Who is the second audience? Most of us think first about our non-Christian neighbors. Maybe they will see our attempts to model Christian marriage and want the gospel? They might, and we hope they will, but actually they are the third audience.

The second audience, usually overlooked by most Christians, is our children. What is our marriage telling them about Christ and his bride? They see it all. They hear our fights. They absorb our attitudes. They know who or what really sits on the throne of our lives. They watch how we handle resentment. They hear the way we talk to each other. They know when we hear the Sunday sermon and apply it. They also know when we ignore it.

The message that our marriage preaches either repels or attracts our children. God wants your child to watch your marriage and think, “I want a marriage like that, and I want the God that produced it.” Or, “When I think of the beauty of the gospel, I think of my parents’ marriage. I want to be part of a church that is loved by God the way my dad loves my mother. I want to be part of a church that finds its joy in submitting to Christ as my mother joyfully submits to my father.”

Convicting and edifying at the same time. That's hard to do!

Some things are impossible...

I'm not trying to be a "Debbie Downer" or anything, but there are just some things that you can't do. No matter how hard you try, you're not going to be able to accomplish them. When it comes to parenting, there are days where you might feel like that list of impossibilities is bigger than ever. One of my favorite authors (and one I couldn't recommend more highly), Paul Tripp, recently talked about the impossibilities he had to face as a parent.


Take a minute and read Paul Tripp about the "joyful impossibility of parenting." It's definitely worthy of your time.


Parenting: The Joyful Impossibility

Help for Workaholic Parents

The work culture is radically different than it was when I was a kid. When I was growing up, there weren't any cell-phones and most people didn't have a computer in the home. There was no email and no internet. Because of that, most of the parents that I knew had a somewhat regular work schedule. They left at a certain time, they got home at a certain time, and when they got home there was no more "work" to do.

Because of the development of smart phones, the internet, and laptop computers work follows us everywhere...that is, if we let it. Most people who fall into the category of "workaholic" would rarely admit it. However, more and more I see men and women who have no boundaries when it comes to the work they do and how it might affect their family. Here's a list (below) that I recently ran across for workaholic parents to consider. Even if you wouldn't call yourself a "workaholic," there might even be something you can learn as well.


"Things Every Workaholic Must Do*

• Give Your Kids Permission To Be Brutally Honest: Ask your kids if they think you are a workaholic. Sit there, shut your mouth and listen, really listen to their heart.
• Ask Forgiveness: I’m sorry doesn’t work! Get eye to eye, heart to heart and ask them to forgive you. Not a general I forgive you but a very specific, line item by line item.
• Ask Them To Pray For You: Right then, ask your kids to place their hand on you and pray that God would give you the power and his strength to change. (bring your kids into the process)
• Ask For Your Kid’s Help: Tell your kiddos that you are going to fail. Give them permission to lovingly and respectfully point out when you fall off the “family man bandwagon”.
• Talk To The Boss: This can be the most difficult part of the process. Sit down with your boss, share your heart and ask him/her to help you spend more time with your family. I have walked through this process personally…and it's not easy.
• Re-arrange Your Calendar: If you are married, give your wife access to your calendar. Allow her to schedule school lunches, field trips and recitals for you. If you are a single parent (I SALUTE YOU) ask a friend to hold you accountable for intentionally scheduling “kid/fam” time.
• Cell Free Zone: I have mentioned this before, but you should give your kids permission to declare a “Cell Free Zone”…maybe once or twice a week? During this time you can’t talk, text, email, glance or even have the phone on you. (you CAN do this, just make sure you have someone at work appointed to take important calls during this time)
• Computer Free Zone: Create some boundaries around taking the computer to bed with you! It seriously can mess up your sex life!
• Get Professional Help: If you truly struggle with being addicted to work, get professional help.
  
• Take This Job & Shove It: So this is a little extreme, I just love the country song. Seriously, after walking through the previous 9 steps and you’re getting no results, you might consider a career change. Please be sure to be prayerful, seek counsel and be confident God is leading you this way. A career change can be tough in any season of life, especially one where the economy is weak."
  

*Source of this list - EpicParent

One Year...

Today, I'm celebrating the simple fact that God somehow convinced a woman to put up with me for the glory of God in this thing we call marriage. She survived one year...here's to many, many more!

Thank you, Lauren! God uses you in so many ways to refine me and make me more and more into the image of His Son. I love you!

Make sure you are there...

On Sunday, January 16th (two days from now), we'll be having one of our parenting-focus Sundays. During either one of the ABF hours (9:00/10:30) you'll have the opportunity to hear from Chad and I about our vision, goals, and values for the families of Firewheel Church and we'll also discuss some resources that we have available for parents.

If you're a parent of a teenager or child at Firewheel, please make plans to attend.

See you on Sunday!

Happy or ________?

I was talking to one of our parents at Firewheel the other day, and we started talking about what they wanted for their children. Like almost every parent, they want the best for their child. What I liked about our conversation is that out of all the things they wanted for their children, they never mentioned "happiness."

So often, you hear parents who want their children to be happy. Don't get me wrong...I really do understand the heart behind what they are saying. The only problem with that, is that in the midst of their quest to give their children "happiness," they steal their child's opportunity to have something greater than merely "happiness." I know it's a very general thought, but I'm pretty sure it's true.

Happiness is so fleeting an idea anyway. One minute it's here...the next it's gone...completely! Because of this, the goal of parenting can't be to simply create happy kids, and once you've given your children enough happiness, you've arrived as a parent. There's got to be something more! There's got to be a bigger goal!


So, how would you fill in the blank (some of my first thoughts below)....


I want my child to be ______ before I want them just to be "happy."


(a lover of God, filled with joy, content, disciplined, compassionate, grateful, generous, growing, wise, etc.)


Any others that you would add to the list?

Fathering on Purpose...

This is a fantastic message from John Woodall called "Fathering on Purpose." This is an extremely helpful words about fathering...about what's important, what's not important, and how you can leave a legacy that matters.

There's only three things you can do to be a great father...TEACH, MODEL, and PRAY

Fathers, click on the link below and watch. Mothers, send it to your husbands.

Fathering on Purpose - video

Important Dates at Firewheel...

As the calendar turns to 2011 (wasn't Y2K just yesterday), I wanted to make you aware of the important dates coming up in the life of our church that involve kids that aren't our normal Sunday/Wednesday ministry.

You'll want to make sure you mark these on your calendars, and make plans on having your children participate. You'll hear more details as we get closer to some of these events.


2011 Dates

Parenting Sunday during ABF time - January 16 and May 1
Winter Camp (K-4th) - February 25-27
MERGE Mystery Trip (5th-6th) - March 25-26
Day of 10,000 Eggs Easter Celebration - April 23
Summer Camp (Completed 3rd-6th) - June 20-24
VBS - (3yr-6th) - July 11-15

Fathers, you set the pace....

One of the clear and evident themes of the Bible is how important a father's role is in the life of their children...especially when it comes to spiritual things. Your child's relationship with God will be radically impacted by how their earthy father loves them and does his best to reflect the Heavenly Father. It's quite a humbling and daunting task for those called "fathers."

I recently read another confirmation of this God-ordained reality. We all want our children to grow up and stay in the faith...fathers have a big role in that.

A Father's Role in His Children Going to Church as an Adult

What do you think about this article? What sticks out most to you?

It's a new year...

What are you going to do to intentionally spiritually shepherd your children this year? What's something new that you're going to try. God has given you this year and this time to invest in the children he made you responsible for.

If you're close to the average parent, God will give you approximately 3000 hours with your child this year. Some of those will be spent through extra-curricular activities and in other non-direct parent/child time. But any way you split it, you have a whole bunch of time with your kids this year.

How are you planning on using it?