Interesting Statistic...

You know what they say about statistics...almost 80% of statistics are made up.

However, I was listening to a radio program the other day, and the author reported a statistic (but didn't say from where)....

The average six-year-old has already watched TV for as many hours as he will talk to his/her father during his entire lifetime. (He said this was average, and so I'm assuming this includes children who don't have a father in the picture or live with their dads.)

My heart sunk, and I began to actually think about this statistic. If it's anywhere close to true, it's no wonder the folks at Disney, Nickelodeon and advertising agencies all over the world have more influence on our children than parents do.


Dads, we can do better...let's become men of the second shift (when you go home, there's another, more important job to do).

Homework for the Glory of God

If your children are old enough, "homework" is something that inevitably occurs in your family's world. As they get older, homework becomes more and more a part of their life.

I recently read a series of articles that had some ideas about how to leverage the ever-present reality of homework to teach kids about God. Below are the 10 main points. For more explanation, click on the links at the end.

1. Explain to your children that God gave them their mind and it is his desire that they use it.

2. Explain that God created us to be “questioners.”

3. Explain that God chose their schools and their teachers.

4. Show them God’s creativity in their homework.

5. Explain how they can use their homework as a means of mission to reach other kids.

6. Use tests as an example of how God sharpens our faith.

7. Explain that God gives us gifts as a stewardship and it is a students job to develop those gifts and use them.

8. Word pictures are great for describing our relationship with God.

9. Use homework as a chance to teach cognitive thinking.

10. Spend time with your child helping with his or her homework.

Homework, a Devotional Time??? - Part 1

Homework, a Devotional Time??? - Part 2

Homework, a Devotional Time??? - Part 3

Modesty - Young Ladies

Having worked in childrens ministry for almost 10 years now, one of the things that I've noticed (just in that short time) is how much fashion changes and how "fashion" or wanting to be "fashionable" is a desire of most young ladies.

However, in the last 10 years things have changed drastically when it comes to the modesty of young ladies. Call it our culture, call it fashion, call it whatever you want...the reality is that most young ladies will have to be conscious of how to be "modest" in a world that doesn't particularly want them to be modest. And yet we know from 1 Peter 3:3-4 what God wants every woman to "show off."

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4


Here's a couple of links I ran across about young ladies, modesty, and how to talk about this with our young daughters and our young women.


Are Your Daughters Looking Sexy?

Modesty Guidelines for Girls


One of the great parts of these articles is a couple of guidelines that are given for knowing whether or not a particular outfit is "modest."

• "If you have trouble getting into it or out of it, it is probably not modest."
• "If you have to be careful when you sit down or bend over, it is probably not modest."
• "If people look at any part of your body before looking at your face, it is probably not modest."
• "If you can see your most private body parts or an outline of those parts under the fabric, it is probably not modest."

Moms and Dads, what are some ways you've addressed this issue in your home?

Having a family fight?

Families are going to have "fights." It's inevitable...like the rising sun or the Chicago Cubs not winning the World Series. Fights are going to happen.

I ran across an article the other day about how to have a "family fight." Not only is it good advice for a family fight, but conflict in general. Give a read and let me know what you think?

How to Have a Family Fight

Enjoy!

Parents...pay attention!

All this month, your children will be learning about "Initiative." It may not seem or sound like a super spiritual of an idea, but there is so much God wants to teach us in this area. Initiative is simply "seeing what needs to be done and doing it."

All month long, on Sundays, we'll be teaching the story of Nehemiah. I ran across a great video that you can watch (7-10 minutes) to understand where we're headed and how you might be able to use what we teach on Sunday mornings and continue the learning through the course of your family life this month.

Monthly Virtue Video

(To the right of the video player at the above link, thee will be an "orange-ish" button that says "October 2010 Virtue Video"- click on it and it should play this month's intro/overview video)

J.C. Ryle on Training - #5

Training Your Child to Love God Can Depend on You

“We heavily depend on those who bring us up. We get from them a taste and a bias which clings to us most of the days of our lives. We learn the language of our mothers and fathers, and learn to speak it almost without thinking, and unquestionably we catch something of their manners, ways, and mind at the same time. Time will tell, how much we all owe to early impressions, and how many things in us may be traced back to the seeds sown in the days of our infancy, by those who were around us."

“And all this is one of God’s merciful arrangements. He gives your children a mind that will receive impressions like moist clay. He gives them a disposition at the starting-point of life to believe what you tell them, and to take for granted what you advise them, and to trust your word rather than a stranger’s. He gives you, in short, a golden opportunity of doing them good. See that you do not neglect such an opportunity. Once you let it slip, it is gone forever."

“I know that you cannot convert your child. I know that they who are born again are born, not of the will of man, but of God. But I also know that God specifically says, ‘Train a child in the way he should go,‘ and that He never gave a command to men and women which He would not give them the grace to perform. And I also know that our duty is not to stand still and dispute the command, but to go forward and obey it. It is only when we move out in obedience that God will meet us. The path of obedience is the way in which He gives the blessing. We only have to do as the servants were commanded at the marriage feast in Cana, to fill the water-pots with water, and we may safely leave it to the Lord to turn that water into wine.” - J.C. Ryle

J.C. Ryle on Training - #4

Training Your Child to Love Church and the Lord's Supper

“Tell your children of the duty and privilege of going to Church, and joining in the prayers of the congregation. Tell them that wherever the Lord’s people are gathered together, there the Lord Jesus is present in a special way, and that those who are absent must expect, like the Apostle Thomas, to miss out on a blessing."

“Tell them of the importance of hearing the Word of God preached, and that it is God’s ordained way of converting, sanctifying, and building up the souls of men. Tell them how the Apostle Paul commands us not to “give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but to encourage one another—and all the more as we see the Day approaching.” [Hebrews 10:25]

“It is a sad sight in a church when nobody comes to the Lord’s Table but the older people, and the young men and the young women all turn away. But it is a sadder sight still when no children are to be seen in a church, except those who come to the Sunday School, and are often obliged to attend. Let none of this guilt lie at your doors. There are many boys and girls in every city, besides those who come to Sunday School, and you who are their parents and friends should see to it that they come with you to church."

“Do not allow them to grow up with a habit of making vain excuses for not coming. Make them clearly understand, that so long as they are under your roof, it is the rule of your house for every one in good health to honor the Lord on the Lord’s day, and that you believe that the healthy person who refuses to go to church on the Lord’s Day brings great harm to his soul."

“Do not be discouraged because your children do not see the full value of church and the Lord’s Supper now. Just train them to have a habit of regular attendance. Set it before their minds as a high, holy, and solemn duty, and believe me, the day will very likely come when they will bless you for your efforts.” - J.C. Ryle

J.C. Ryle on Training - #3

His wisdom about raising children in the "way they should go" continues to amaze me, and I've enjoyed sharing these with you.


Training Your Child to Have a Habit of Prayer

“Parents, if you love your children, do all that lies within your power to train them to have a habit of prayer. Show them how to begin. Tell them what to say. Encourage them to persevere. Remind them that if they become careless and slack about it. Let it not be your fault, if they never call on the name of the Lord."

“Remember, that this is the first step in religion which a child is able to take. Long before he can read, you can teach him to kneel by his mother’s side, and repeat the simple words of prayer and praise which she puts in his mouth. And as the first steps in any undertaking are always the most important, so is the manner in which your children’s prayers are prayed, a point which deserves your closest attention. Few seem to know how much depends on this. You must be careful that they don’t say their prayers in a hasty, careless, and irreverent manner."

“Oh, dear friend, if you love your children, I charge you, do not let the early impression of a habit of prayer slip by. If you train your children to do anything, train them, at least, to have a habit of prayer.” - J.C. Ryle

Another gem from J.C. Ryle

Here's another gem from our man, J.C. Ryle...


Train Your Child to Know the Bible

“You cannot make your children love the Bible, I admit. No one but the Holy Spirit can give us a heart to delight in the Word. But you can make sure that your children are acquainted with the Bible; and remember that they can never become acquainted with that blessed book too soon, or too well."

“See that your children read the Bible reverently. Train them to look upon it, not as the word of men, but as it truly is, the Word of God, written by the Holy Spirit Himself—all true, all profitable, and able to make us wise for salvation through faith in Christ."

“See that they read it regularly. Train them to regard it as their soul’s daily food—as something essential to their soul’s daily health. I well know that you cannot make this anything more than a form; but there is no telling the amount of sin which a mere form may indirectly restrain."

“See that they read it all. You need not shrink from bringing any doctrine before them. You need not assume that the leading doctrines of Christianity are things which children cannot understand. Children understand far more of the Bible than we are apt to suppose."

“Fill their minds with Scripture. Let the Word dwell in them richly. Give them the Bible, the whole Bible, even while they are young.” - J.C. Ryle

Old doesn't equal outdated...

One of the lessons I learned early in life is that just because an idea is old doesn't mean it's outdated. In fact, I think it was Solomon who said, there is "nothing new under the sun." In other words, it's all been done before.

Because of this idea, I really appreciate the men of the faith who lived centuries ago. Their wisdom is still applicable today, and I recently ran across a series of quotes from an old English preacher/theologian, J.C. Ryle.

In the next few (4-5) posts, I'm going to share some of his quotes about children. He was the father of 5 children and has some pretty insightful things to say about parenting and "training a child in the way they should go."

Hopefully, you'll enjoy and appreciate the "oldness" of it. Here goes...


Training Your Child Means Watching Over Their Soul

“Precious, no doubt, are these little ones in your eyes; but if you truly love them, then often think about their souls. Nothing should concern you as greatly as their eternal destiny. No part of them should be so dear to you as that part which will never die."

"This is the thought that should be uppermost on your mind in all that you do for your children. In every step you take about them, in every plan, and scheme, and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out that mighty question, ‘How will this affect their souls?’"

"A true Christian must not be a slave to what’s currently ‘in-fashion,’ if he wants to train his child for heaven. He must not be content to teach them and instruct them in certain ways, merely because it is customary, or to allow them to read books of a questionable sort, merely because everybody else reads them, or to let them form bad habits, merely because they are the habits of the day. He must train with an eye to his children’s souls. He must not be ashamed to hear his training called odd and strange. What if it is? The time is short—the customs of this world are passing away. He that has trained his children for heaven, rather than for the earth—for God, rather than for man—he is the parent that will be called wise in the end." - J.C. Ryle

Refreshed...

I'm not quite sure how to describe it, but there's something "refreshing" about going on vacation. There's this magical week where responsibility is put on the back-burner and you have a time to just "be."

I don't know about you, but every time I go on vacation, I come back feeling a bit refreshed. Some of you may be saying to yourself, "that's because you don't have any kids to take on vacation with you." That is true, no children traveled with my wife and I on this vacation, and I'm sure that decreased levels of frustration and increased levels of relaxation.

Here's what I'm getting it...

It may not be a vacation for you, but every one of us have ways that we are "refreshed." It might be an hour at the gym. It might be watching on of your favorite TV shows. It might be going on a walk. It might be reading a chapter in a book. Whatever it is, we should all seek out those ways, periodically, where we can be "refreshed." It's good for us!

So, what's your refreshment plan?

Going Dark...

One of my all-time favorite TV shows was "24." In fact, Jack Bauer may be the most awesome individual ever created for TV. OK...that's enough Jack-love for now.

One of the terms they would often use during the course of an undercover investigation or operation was that someone was "going dark." What that really meant was that because of where they were placed or what they were about to start, there was no way to communicate with that person. The plan was already put into effect...and there was no stopping it.

Well, guess what...yours truly is about to "go dark." Starting tomorrow, I'll be on vacation until Sunday, September 19. My wife and I are completely leaving it all behind for a week of cooler temps, no email, and as best we can, no worries.

There won't be any blog updates until the week of September 20-24. I'll be back then!

But for now...I'm "going dark"!

Pastor Dad

For you, those two words may not seem to go together. You may be saying, I know I'm a dad, but I'm definitely not a "pastor."

You may have an occupation that doesn't involve the church, but if you're a father, God has called you to pastor your family. The word for pastor really means to "shepherd." Here's a great article that will help you begin to understand some ways you might be able to "shepherd" and "cultivate" your family.

How to Pastor Your Family

Read up, men!

A different kind of 10 Commandments...

I recently ran across this list of "commandments" when it comes to protecting your children and families on-line. The internet is a dangerous place, and as your kids get older, their involvement with technology will only increase. As a parent, you better have a plan.


The 10 Commandments of online safety for kids

1. Thou shalt put the computer in a very public place.
2. Remember thy password and keep it holy.
3. Know thy children’s friends, buddies.
4. Remember thy monitoring software and keep it active.
5. Thou Shalt not allow thy children to post any graven images (photos) without thy permission.
6. Thou shalt not allow any contact information to ever be given out.
7. Thou shalt forbid any meeting in person with online buddies.
8. Remember to check thy child’s history.
9. Though shalt create a separate log in for each child (on a mac, on those other computers).
10. Thou shalt not close your eyes and hope for the best.

Taken from Sam Luce - Source

Would you add any "commandments" to the list?

I know what you did...

This post is mostly aimed at those parents who's kids are already using social networking sites and those who might have older teens. Because of the "connectedness" and "online-ness" (not sure if that's a word), of the world, almost anyone with an internet connection can know what your child did last night.

Do you know what your child did last night?

Online safety for parents - Article

After you've read that, check out SafetyWeb.