Gauges

Every car has them...most factories are full of them. We've become so accustomed to seeing them, that we DON'T see them...or at least we don't pay attention to them very often. What am I talking about - gauges? Those little devices on your dash that give you vital information about the operation of your car.

Well, the family has "gauges" as well. How else will you know how your family is operating? Pay attention to the "gauges." They are there to make sure your familiy runs optimally. Here are a couple of gauges from a recent article I read...



1. The “speedometer” - This is the “pacing” question. Are we moving at a healthy pace that we can sustain or are we running “in the red?” We can’t just monitor the things from ministry that directly include us, but we must also factor in the other things that make life what it is: soccer, gymnastics, the kids’ school, health, marriage, money and home repairs. I never make this health assessment alone. Men are not typically emotionally intuitive and can be blind to the relational redlining occurring. If you don’t believe me, just ask your wife. She will tell you the real truth.

2. The “RPM”s - This is the stress question. How hard are we pushing to make this thing go? Are we shifting gears smoothly in our relationships or are we “grinding the gears” like a 16-year-old boy driving a stick shift for the first time with his critical Dad in the passenger seat? Do Mom and Dad need more time together--alone? Is more time or energy needed with a particular child? You can usually “listen to the engine” through the tone of the conversations taking place in home to monitor the stress level in the home.

3. The “gas” gauge - This is the margin question. Every ministry family I know is strapped for time and often other resources. The families that go the distance are the ones that have enough gas in their tank for the long haul. They are consciously and consistently refueling through weekly days off, “Date Nights,” “Daddy Dates,” vacations and daily spiritual tune-ups to keep the engine running more efficiently. Again, if you want to know exactly how much gas is really in the family or marriage tank, ask your wife. She knows.


Taken from - The Family Dashboard

National Day of Prayer

Today is traditionally the National Day of Prayer in our country. Members of Firewheel have been praying since midnight, and we'll continue to pray around the clock until midnight tonight.

Speaking of prayer...if you haven't stopped today and prayed for your kids...stop right now.

For extra credit...gather the kids around tonight and have everyone pray together.

Tips for Dads

Dads, you're important. No one can do for your kids what you can do for your kids...I ran across these tips the other day from anohter website (see link at bottom). Thought I would share them with you today.

1.Prioritize fatherhood. Some dads worry that by emphasizing family so much they will lose their edge at the workplace and not be as competitive for positions as those who lack family ties or neglect them. Research doesn't support that fear. Plan your work around your family. Decide that father-child time is not negotiable, but work time is. With calendar or planner in hand, schedule first the activities of your children, the school events, the games, then write in your work obligations.

2.Get involved with your child from the beginning. Remember, there is only one thing you can't do for a baby. And even then, you can still establish a role for yourself: bathing, burping, comforting and taking the baby out for a walk.

3.Become an Expert Dad. Keep up with the language of child rearing. Talk to other dads informally or in groups or in parenting classes. Read articles and books about good fathering. In too many families, the woman becomes the "expert" and Dad feels relegates his responsibilities to her. Don't let that happen to you.

4.Have regular one-on-one time with each child. Sometimes it's fun to talk while you're doing errands or making home repairs, but be sure that there are times that you turn off the TV, put down the newspaper, and give your kids your undivided attention. Arrange alone times with your kids. Go out to eat a favorite meal or to do an activity the child enjoys or just go on an errand alone together.

5.Show affection often. Even if older kids seem squeamish, kids enjoy a hug and always enjoy encouraging words from their dad. My son's friends asked why he had such a random collection of shirts from so many different cities. He said his Dad brings shirts from the trips he has been on.

6.Make yourself Available Always. Interrupt your meetings when anyone in the family calls. Learn to text and respond quickly. Don't be busy all of the time. Build in opportunities for spontaneous conversations.

7.Take kids to work. This is a great way to teach them about the world of work that you are a part of. Take kids with you on business trips when possible.

8.Stay connected when you have to be away. Sometimes work takes dads out of town. Set up a routine to stay connected. Some families schedule a specific time Dad will call that is convenient for all members of the family. When you return, bring home something special for the kids. It need not be extravagant. My boys wear my gifts proudly.

9.Teach them. No dad has every gift or skill. Kids may learn certain things from other males in their lives. Use opportunities to share your talents. In my family, I lack auto mechanical ability, but I have passed on the gift and love of sports by personally coaching their teams.

10.Connect with your child at all levels. Make sure you have some contact with every aspect of your child's life. Visit the school, meet the teacher and kids and have at least fleeting contact with an after-school activity. If you have seen where your children are and met their friends, you will have more to talk about and more interesting conversations. Parent involvement during children's schooling is critical to their school success. Work with your employer to see that your work schedule doesn't preclude your involvement in your child's schooling.

Original Source - Dad Tips

Modification or Transformation?

Which of these are you after with your kids? Which of these would you say is your goal?

They sound similar, but they couldn't be further apart. And because they are two different goals when it comes to children, they undoubtedly require different strategies to get there.

You can punish, guilt, manipulate, force, and strategize into behavior modification...

...but real, heart change (i.e. transformation) happens in an entirely different way.


What are you after?

Summer in the suburbs...

Summer is approaching. I ran into a great article the other day tools you can use to connect with people outside the church during the summer in the 'burbs.

Summer in the Suburbs

Are there any more ideas you have?

Some Fun for Friday...

Great Commercials!

Studying the Bible as a family...

Here are some helpful hints from another pastor about the way you can make Bible study in your family a priority. As fathers, weaving the Scripture and truths about God into everyday life is one of the most important tasks that you have. I found these practices to be extremely basic, but, in the end, they could make a world of difference in your attempt to raise your children up to know and love God. Dads, you should consider how you can weave these practices into the life of your family.

Upon reflection, though, four things are constant:

Lots of Bibles - We have tons of Bibles all over the house. We have Bibles for every age, lots of translations, and lots of formats. To be honest, if a member of my family finds a Bible they like that is faithful, I am not at all legalistic about which one they prefer. Most days, every room of the house has a Bible of some kind in it,
ready to read.

A love of Bible reading - I love to read the Bible and want my family to love reading in general, and Bible reading in particular. It’s not a forced rule, but a fun part of life. Everyone in our family likes to read the Bible and does so daily. I’ve never made a rule about daily Bible reading, but we all do as a habit that we enjoy by God’s grace. We all read Scripture and pray at night before bed as a sort of wind-down wrap-up to the day and the kids like it a lot.

Life integration - Throughout the daily moments of life, the window of opportunity opens up to sit down with my spouse and the kids, either one on one or as a group, to open the Bible and apply a particular portion to something happening in their life. As a parent and a spouse, it is a great honor to be on watch, appointed by God to capture these sacred moments of bringing Scripture to bear on a teachable moment.

Age-appropriate discussion - We eat dinner together and have a Bible at the table that I use to lead discussions. We also keep a notebook of prayers for people and the kids really like seeing prayers answered and checked off. Some nights the family gets down some rabbit trail of conversation that is not overtly theological, and as a dad I don’t force a big theological discussion upon them, but rather follow the Holy Spirit as we just enjoy one another. Other nights we have some big theological discussions that I lead out of the Bible. After church on Sundays, since I’m still working, my spouse is faithful to ask the kids what they learned in the service or their class and draw out of them what God revealed to them from Scripture. Anyone wanting to grow in this skill can read Big Truths for Young Hearts by Bruce Ware, in which he shows how to teach theology to kids in an age-appropriate fashion.

Source: Studying the Bible with Spouse and Children

What are your kids "searching" for?

I found this article particularly important to share with you. Here, you'll find the top google searches for children and teenagers in 2009. Pretty shocking stuff!

Top Web Browser Searches for Kids and Teens for 2009

You may or may not realize this, but the internet can be a wonderful, and yet, very dangersous place for kids. If you haven't already, engage your children in a conversation about what kinds of places they visit on the internet, and what kind of dangers are out there.

And if you don't have a filter...get one TODAY!

I'm Not Being Fed...

In his recent book entitled "Stuff Christians Like," super-blogger, Jon Acuff (http://www.stuffchristianslike.net/) wrote about a common happening in churches. I thought it was humorous, and, yet at the same time, haunting.

He writes about how Christians like "Complaining about not being fed at church." We writes...

"If you want to become a professional church grumbler, not just some amateur occasionally throwing rocks at the worship service, minister, or other attributes of the church, there's one key phraise you need to know:

"I'm not being fed."

This simple complaint - the teaching is lacking, the sermons are thin, the worship music is not uplifting enough, or a million other things that people find inadequate - is the official complaint of church grumblers the world over. If we could figure out a way to monetize it, we could permanently end world poverty. Forget cold fusion; if we could generate energy every time someone says this phrase, we'd be able to break our dependence on foreign oil in about four minutes.

It's such a perfect thing to say because it deflects any attention away from me, while at the same time creating false humility and making me seem spiritually mature and advanced. "It's not you, it's me. I just want to learn. I'm admitting that I am incomplete. I'm hungry for deep, real spiritual teaching. I'm humbly confessing that I'm not getting enough out of church. Please help me get the rich faith-building experiences that I so desperately need."

Just be careful who you say this to. Pastors are starting to get wily. When people tell my friend, "I'm not being fed," he replies, "I'm perfectly happy to spoon feed my one-year-old. But if I'm still spoon-feeding him when he's five, we've got a problem. Here's a fork. Feed yourself.""

This is exactly what the writer of Hebrews spoke about in Hebrews 5:11-14.

"We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have TRAINED THEMSELVES..."

I thought it was a good word for me...I'm hoping it is for you as well.

Counterfeit Gospels...

In one of his books, "How People Change," Tedd Tripp identifies seven counterfeit gospels—-”religious” ways we try and “justify” or “save” ourselves apart from the gospel of grace. I found these unbelievably helpful. Which one (or two, or three) of these do you tend to gravitate towards?

Formalism. “I participate in the regular meetings and ministries of the church, so I feel like my life is under control. I’m always in church, but it really has little impact on my heart or on how I live. I may become judgmental and impatient with those who do not have the same commitment as I do.”

Legalism. “I live by the rules—rules I create for myself and rules I create for others. I feel good if I can keep my own rules, and I become arrogant and full of contempt when others don’t meet the standards I set for them. There is no joy in my life because there is no grace to be celebrated.”

Mysticism. “I am engaged in the incessant pursuit of an emotional experience with God. I live for the moments when I feel close to him, and I often struggle with discouragement when I don’t feel that way. I may change churches often, too, looking for one that will give me what I’m looking for.”

Activism. “I recognize the missional nature of Christianity and am passionately involved in fixing this broken world. But at the end of the day, my life is more of a defense of what’s right than a joyful pursuit of Christ.”

Biblicism. “I know my Bible inside and out, but I do not let it master me. I have reduced the gospel to a mastery of biblical content and theology, so I am intolerant and critical of those with lesser knowledge.”

Therapism. “I talk a lot about the hurting people in our congregation, and how Christ is the only answer for their hurt. Yet even without realizing it, I have made Christ more Therapist than Savior. I view hurt as a greater problem than sin—and I subtly shift my greatest need from my moral failure to my unmet needs.”

Social-ism. “The deep fellowship and friendships I find at church have become their own idol. The body of Christ has replaced Christ himself, and the gospel is reduced to a network of fulfilling Christian relationships.”

There are outside-the-church idols and there are inside-the-church idols. It’s the idols inside the church that ought to concern Christians most. It’s easier for Christians to identify worldly idols such as money, power, selfish ambition, sex, and so on. It’s the idols inside the church that we have a harder time identifying.

For instance, we know it’s wrong to bow to the god of power—but it’s also wrong to bow to the god of preferences. We know it’s wrong to worship immorality—but it’s also wrong to worship morality. We know it’s wrong to seek freedom by breaking the rules—but it’s also wrong to seek freedom by keeping them. We know God hates unrighteousness—but he also hates self-righteousness. We know crime is a sin—but so is control. If people outside the church try to save themselves by being bad; people inside the church try to save themselves by being good.

The good news of the gospel is that both inside and outside the church, there is only One Savior and Lord, namely Jesus. And he came, not to angrily strip away our freedom, but to affectionately strip away our slavery to lesser things so that we might become truly free!


The questions for you as parents are...

• Which of these do you see in yourself?
• Which of these do you tend to see in your kids?
• Which of these do you think your kids picked up because they saw it in you?

Modern Family

I'm really excited about this new sermon series at Firewheel. Pastor Jerry is starting up a brand new series at church this Sunday entitled, "Modern Family." Maybe you've noticed this, but all families have troubles, difficulties, and even dysfunctions. If a family admits to none of these aforementioned items, it is just proof that they have a whole other set of problems.

Here’s the thing…the problems families face aren’t new. They've been around since Bible times. Come and see how the modern problems of family might not be so “modern” after all. Services are 9:00 and 10:30 on Sunday mornings. See you then!

Hope in the Worst of Times

Ran across this message the other day...it was well-timed, and I think it will be well-timed for parents who are looking for a little hope in the midst of a world that can often provide a lot of discouragement.

Parenting with Hope in the Worst of Times


May it stir your heart like it did mine!

Post-Easter

Note: this was written on Friday, April 2...but I was doing my best "forecasting" job.


Readers,

I am currently in a "post-Easter" coma. The church offices are closed, and my plan is to enjoy some sleep, opening day baseball, and a little yard work that has been too long neglected.

The blog will be back up and going later in the week!


Robert

It's Friday...but Sunday's Coming!

This one always gets me!

April Fool's

I love this day...I really do. I've had some pretty good practical jokes happen on this day in my life. If you don't believe me, you can ask Pastor David...he caught the brunt of one a couple of years ago.

While we're on the subject of fools...here are some things that might cause you to live like a "fool."

• Say there's no God (Psalm 14:1)
• Find pleasure in evil (Proverbs 10:23)
• Hotheaded and reckless (Proverbs 14:6)
• Horrible with resources (Proverbs 17:16)
• Trusting in yourself (Proverbs 28:26)
• Perverse lips (Proverbs 19:1)
• Quick to quarrel/fight (Proverbs 20:3)
• Repeat past mistakes (Proverbs 26:11)
• Storing up treasure on earth (Luke 12:20)

And the list could go on and on...


Do your best to teach your children how to live wisely and how to avoid living foolishly. Teach them to know the difference. Use personal examples...they work best!