Wednesdays are for parenting tips...

A Fun Way To Teach Children to be Servants

One of the roadblocks to sibling harmony is selfishness. Children want to be first or best. Teaching kids to serve others is an important way for them to learn honor. A servant gives more than half, considers others' needs, and looks for ways to benefit those around him. Children who learn to be servants make better employees, develop meaningful friendships, and enjoy relationships more.

One fun way to teach children to be servants is the "I Cut, You Pick" Rule. It helps children who both want the last piece of cake, or plan to split a chocolate bar. It simply goes like this. When children must divide something between the two of them, ask one child if he would rather cut or pick. The other alternative goes to the second child. This plan motivates the person cutting to be as equal as possible.

Now, instead of two children arguing about who got the biggest piece, they are both involved in the solution. The "I Cut, You Pick" rule equips children with a tool they can use in many situations to bring peace instead of frustration in relationships.

The technique actually comes from a Bible story of Abraham and Lot. They had too many herds and not enough food so they decided to divide the land between the two huge families. Abraham, being a wise servant of God, said, "I'll cut the land into two pieces and you pick which one you'd like." In the story, Lot chose what appeared to be the better piece but Abraham was rewarded in the end and, most importantly, their relationship was preserved.

This parenting tip is taken from the book, "Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids" by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

Taken from www.biblicalparenting.org

Wednesdays are for parenting tips...

What to Do When Kids Are Annoying

Dealing with annoying behavior is not like disciplining for defiance or teaching a child to follow instructions. When it comes to impulsivity, the child can't always make changes just by choosing something different. In many cases, kids don't realize that they're being annoying and they don't know what to do to be more appropriate.

Furthermore, these patterns often come from habits that have been practiced for a long time. These reasons are not excuses for inappropriate behavior but they're a further indication that the job will take concentrated effort from the child and the parents.

Part of the issue is immaturity; the child hasn't learned how to pick up on the social cues or restrain behavior as much as we'd like. But these children need more than just time to grow up. They need concentrated work to develop two character qualities: self-control and sensitivity.

These qualities not only help children when they're young, but they become tools for success as children get older.

Here are some working definitions for sensitivity and self-control to get you started with your children in this area:

Self-control is the ability to control myself so that Mom and Dad don't have to.

Self-control means to think before I act.

Self-control is the ability to talk about problems instead of grabbing, pushing, or hitting.

Self-control means that I limit the noises I make when others are around.

Self-control means that I focus on one thing until it gets done, before I move to the next.

Sensitivity means that when I walk into a room I look and listen before I speak.

Sensitivity is thinking about how my actions are affecting other people.

Sensitivity means thinking about how I could help someone else.

What are some practical definitions you've found helpful in your family?

This parenting tip comes from Chapter 7 in the book "Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character In You and Your Kids" by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN,BSN.