I get the privilege/honor/responsibility of bringing the message to the church body this coming Sunday (July 10).
We will be continuing the "Wisdom from the Road" series from the book of Proverbs. In God's providence, I was assigned the topic of "anger" almost 2 months ago. If you know me at all, you'll know that this one hits a little close to home. I am well-acquainted with my shortcomings in this particular area of my life.
Because of that, and because I've pleaded with the Lord to give me insight, I believe that this will be a message on anger unlike many you've ever heard before. I'm really excited about what the Lord has placed on my heart, and I really hope you'll plan to be there.
Here's the description from the bulletin...
"One of the consistent themes (well over 20 verses) throughout the book of Proverbs is about not being and/or associating with "angry" or "hot-tempered" people. But isn't that ALL of us? Aren't all of us, and some more than others, prone to anger? Simply telling ourselves or others to "stop being angry" doesn't really work...there's something deeper going on in our hearts. What's really at the core of our anger, and why does it matter so much?"
Hope to see you on Sunday! I'm really looking forward to it.
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Friday, July 8, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
War of Words...
"Babies are so cute...but then they learn to TALK!"
A parent once said that to me, and I couldn't help but laugh "with them." There's something that happens when a kid learns the power of their words and then begins to use them in positive and negative ways. There's something about our mouths that cause disunity, conflict, disagreements, and utter chaos throughout our lives. James 3 talks about the power of our tongues/words.
In our families and marriages, words are so powerful. How we use them, where we use them, and what tones we communicate with have so much to do with the relational health of our marriages and families. With that in mind, I ran across a great article about attempting to win the "war of words."
Winning the War of Words
Give it a read, and let me know what you think!
A parent once said that to me, and I couldn't help but laugh "with them." There's something that happens when a kid learns the power of their words and then begins to use them in positive and negative ways. There's something about our mouths that cause disunity, conflict, disagreements, and utter chaos throughout our lives. James 3 talks about the power of our tongues/words.
In our families and marriages, words are so powerful. How we use them, where we use them, and what tones we communicate with have so much to do with the relational health of our marriages and families. With that in mind, I ran across a great article about attempting to win the "war of words."
Winning the War of Words
Give it a read, and let me know what you think!
Friday, December 10, 2010
Raising the Volume?
One of the things that God has naturally gifted me with is what I would call "a voice that carries." Some people may call me "loud," but I'm going with a "voice that carries." As a children's pastor, there are times when this comes in handy. One of the ways it comes in handy is when I need to get the attention of a group of children who are being loud. My father modeled for me how to be "stern" as well. I remember as a child, him only needing to say it once.
One of the things that I, personally, have to watch out for with my interactions with children is to be careful of how much I might use that voice. I'm quick to admit that there have been times when I've straight up yelled very loudly at a child who was about to or had already done something ridiculous and dumb. I'm not always perfect, and sometimes I probably use that "yelling" voice more than I should. I'm not a parent yet, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that there's been some form of "yelling" in your house in the last couple of weeks. I ran across an interesting article the other day on this subject. I submit it to you for your consideration.
Here's a Dad's take on yelling - Why Yelling Doesn't Work
There are times for a stern and loud voice. Sometimes the distance between your child and yourself if far enough away to necessitate a loud and strong voice. I'm not going to say that there aren't times when a very loud voice (even yelling) might be necessary, but if you find yourself yelling a lot you may want to ask yourselves some of the hard questions that this article brings up.
One of the things that I, personally, have to watch out for with my interactions with children is to be careful of how much I might use that voice. I'm quick to admit that there have been times when I've straight up yelled very loudly at a child who was about to or had already done something ridiculous and dumb. I'm not always perfect, and sometimes I probably use that "yelling" voice more than I should. I'm not a parent yet, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that there's been some form of "yelling" in your house in the last couple of weeks. I ran across an interesting article the other day on this subject. I submit it to you for your consideration.
Here's a Dad's take on yelling - Why Yelling Doesn't Work
There are times for a stern and loud voice. Sometimes the distance between your child and yourself if far enough away to necessitate a loud and strong voice. I'm not going to say that there aren't times when a very loud voice (even yelling) might be necessary, but if you find yourself yelling a lot you may want to ask yourselves some of the hard questions that this article brings up.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Wednesdays are for parenting tips...
What to Do When Kids Are Annoying
Dealing with annoying behavior is not like disciplining for defiance or teaching a child to follow instructions. When it comes to impulsivity, the child can't always make changes just by choosing something different. In many cases, kids don't realize that they're being annoying and they don't know what to do to be more appropriate.
Furthermore, these patterns often come from habits that have been practiced for a long time. These reasons are not excuses for inappropriate behavior but they're a further indication that the job will take concentrated effort from the child and the parents.
Part of the issue is immaturity; the child hasn't learned how to pick up on the social cues or restrain behavior as much as we'd like. But these children need more than just time to grow up. They need concentrated work to develop two character qualities: self-control and sensitivity.
These qualities not only help children when they're young, but they become tools for success as children get older.
Here are some working definitions for sensitivity and self-control to get you started with your children in this area:
Self-control is the ability to control myself so that Mom and Dad don't have to.
Self-control means to think before I act.
Self-control is the ability to talk about problems instead of grabbing, pushing, or hitting.
Self-control means that I limit the noises I make when others are around.
Self-control means that I focus on one thing until it gets done, before I move to the next.
Sensitivity means that when I walk into a room I look and listen before I speak.
Sensitivity is thinking about how my actions are affecting other people.
Sensitivity means thinking about how I could help someone else.
What are some practical definitions you've found helpful in your family?
This parenting tip comes from Chapter 7 in the book "Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character In You and Your Kids" by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN,BSN.
Dealing with annoying behavior is not like disciplining for defiance or teaching a child to follow instructions. When it comes to impulsivity, the child can't always make changes just by choosing something different. In many cases, kids don't realize that they're being annoying and they don't know what to do to be more appropriate.
Furthermore, these patterns often come from habits that have been practiced for a long time. These reasons are not excuses for inappropriate behavior but they're a further indication that the job will take concentrated effort from the child and the parents.
Part of the issue is immaturity; the child hasn't learned how to pick up on the social cues or restrain behavior as much as we'd like. But these children need more than just time to grow up. They need concentrated work to develop two character qualities: self-control and sensitivity.
These qualities not only help children when they're young, but they become tools for success as children get older.
Here are some working definitions for sensitivity and self-control to get you started with your children in this area:
Self-control is the ability to control myself so that Mom and Dad don't have to.
Self-control means to think before I act.
Self-control is the ability to talk about problems instead of grabbing, pushing, or hitting.
Self-control means that I limit the noises I make when others are around.
Self-control means that I focus on one thing until it gets done, before I move to the next.
Sensitivity means that when I walk into a room I look and listen before I speak.
Sensitivity is thinking about how my actions are affecting other people.
Sensitivity means thinking about how I could help someone else.
What are some practical definitions you've found helpful in your family?
This parenting tip comes from Chapter 7 in the book "Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character In You and Your Kids" by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN,BSN.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Sibling Rivalry in the Bible - #3
If you have more than one child, and they differ in age by less than 7 years, you have undoubtedly experienced a bit of sibling rivalry. It can take all kinds of forms and it can be rooted in all kinds of emotions, but it is there. It's as old as Cain and Abel, and the "problem" of sibling rivalry isn't going anywhere as long as Jesus hasn't come back. So, I'm going to begin a series of posts (1 each for the next couple of weeks) about sibling rivalry. We'll take a look at different instances of it in the Bible, and attempt to learn something together.
Jacob and Esau (Gen.25-27)
What really happened: Isaac and Rebekah have twins. Anyone who has twins knows that there are some times where twins can give joy like single children born separately can't. They also know that there are times when twins can cause pain and tension unlike children born separately. The Bible says that the two boys were "struggling within her before they were born" (Gen. 25:21-26). Eventually, they grow up and Jacob tricks his father and takes the inheritance from his older brother, leading to the separation of two nations who still to this day, dislike each other.
What caused it in their situation: I think the main clue to this particular case of sibling rivalry is that "Isaac loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob" (Gen. 5:28). In this family, there were obvious favorites.
The End Result: Two different nations are formed from these two brothers after Jacob "steals" the birthright from Esau and tricks his father into giving him the blessing/inheritance.
Be on the lookout: Make sure you are on your guard and watchful about whether or not parents have their own, personal favorite kids. Dad, if you're spending more time with one child while mom is spending more time with another, watch carefully. I know that can be difficult sometimes (especially if Dad coaches little league and Mom is the dance sponsor), but it may take a conscious effort to spend quality/special time with each of your children, lest you, unknowingly, develop "favorites."
What's the Takeaway: Well, the most natural takeaway from this story is that if you have twins, you should keep your eye out for certain kinds of sibling rivalry that can be exasperated by "twin-dom." Secondly, in this family, we see the obvious dangers of playing favorites.
Jacob and Esau (Gen.25-27)
What really happened: Isaac and Rebekah have twins. Anyone who has twins knows that there are some times where twins can give joy like single children born separately can't. They also know that there are times when twins can cause pain and tension unlike children born separately. The Bible says that the two boys were "struggling within her before they were born" (Gen. 25:21-26). Eventually, they grow up and Jacob tricks his father and takes the inheritance from his older brother, leading to the separation of two nations who still to this day, dislike each other.
What caused it in their situation: I think the main clue to this particular case of sibling rivalry is that "Isaac loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob" (Gen. 5:28). In this family, there were obvious favorites.
The End Result: Two different nations are formed from these two brothers after Jacob "steals" the birthright from Esau and tricks his father into giving him the blessing/inheritance.
Be on the lookout: Make sure you are on your guard and watchful about whether or not parents have their own, personal favorite kids. Dad, if you're spending more time with one child while mom is spending more time with another, watch carefully. I know that can be difficult sometimes (especially if Dad coaches little league and Mom is the dance sponsor), but it may take a conscious effort to spend quality/special time with each of your children, lest you, unknowingly, develop "favorites."
What's the Takeaway: Well, the most natural takeaway from this story is that if you have twins, you should keep your eye out for certain kinds of sibling rivalry that can be exasperated by "twin-dom." Secondly, in this family, we see the obvious dangers of playing favorites.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Sibling Rivalry in the Bible - #2
If you have more than one child, and they differ in age by less than 7 years, you have undoubtedly experienced a bit of sibling rivalry. It can take all kinds of forms and it can be rooted in all kinds of emotions, but it is there. It's as old as Cain and Abel, and the "problem" of sibling rivalry isn't going anywhere as long as Jesus hasn't come back. We'll take a look at different instances of it in the Bible, and attempt to learn something together.
Joseph and His Brothers (Genesis 37)
What really happened: Joseph was the youngest son in his family, and his father "loved Joseph more than any of his other sons" (v. 3) because he was the baby. This caused quite a bit of "hatred" between Joseph and his brothers (v.4). He even receives special gifts from his father (v. 3). One day Joseph has some dreams. He then tells his brothers about the dreams. It just so happens that in these dreams, Joseph's brothers are bowing down to him. They take offense, and it truly is the straw that breaks the camel's back in the relationship between Joseph and his brothers.
What caused it in their situation: There are a number of things that fuel the fire of sibling rivalry in this story. The first is the blatant favoritism shown by Joseph's father. Nothing will put siblings at odds with one another quicker than genuine or even perceived favoritism. The second things that fueled this chain of events wasn't Joseph's dreams, but the way in which he talked about these dreams to his family. You can almost sense a great deal of pride and arrogance in Joseph when he tells these dreams.
The End Result: Joseph's brothers eventually devise a plan to sell him into slavery and make up a story about him being killed by a wild animal. They lie to their father, and Joseph is sent off to Egypt where he begins his life as a slave. That is the beginning of the story, but we know (because we know the rest of the story) that this was all a part of God's plan to preserve his people during the upcoming famines.
Be on the lookout: As a parent, you've got to be on the lookout for favoritism. Most parents would never admit to favoritism, but it can sneak up on you in a number of ways when you don't even realize it. Do your best to guard against it at all costs. Be fair...discipline when you must...but always be on the lookout for favoritism. In addition, watch for pride in your children, whether it's subtle or blatant. Pride and arrogance can quickly sour one person against the other.
What's the Takeaway: Favoritism and pride/arrogance destroy a family in Joseph's case. The pain and wreckage in this story are very real, and can often mirror the pain and wreckage of real life families today. The beautiful part of this story is that at the end of it all, Joseph is reconciled with his father and brother and able to say that "what you intended for evil, God intended for good." God used this families dysfunction to glorify him and to serve His purpose in the world. Glory to God!
Joseph and His Brothers (Genesis 37)
What really happened: Joseph was the youngest son in his family, and his father "loved Joseph more than any of his other sons" (v. 3) because he was the baby. This caused quite a bit of "hatred" between Joseph and his brothers (v.4). He even receives special gifts from his father (v. 3). One day Joseph has some dreams. He then tells his brothers about the dreams. It just so happens that in these dreams, Joseph's brothers are bowing down to him. They take offense, and it truly is the straw that breaks the camel's back in the relationship between Joseph and his brothers.
What caused it in their situation: There are a number of things that fuel the fire of sibling rivalry in this story. The first is the blatant favoritism shown by Joseph's father. Nothing will put siblings at odds with one another quicker than genuine or even perceived favoritism. The second things that fueled this chain of events wasn't Joseph's dreams, but the way in which he talked about these dreams to his family. You can almost sense a great deal of pride and arrogance in Joseph when he tells these dreams.
The End Result: Joseph's brothers eventually devise a plan to sell him into slavery and make up a story about him being killed by a wild animal. They lie to their father, and Joseph is sent off to Egypt where he begins his life as a slave. That is the beginning of the story, but we know (because we know the rest of the story) that this was all a part of God's plan to preserve his people during the upcoming famines.
Be on the lookout: As a parent, you've got to be on the lookout for favoritism. Most parents would never admit to favoritism, but it can sneak up on you in a number of ways when you don't even realize it. Do your best to guard against it at all costs. Be fair...discipline when you must...but always be on the lookout for favoritism. In addition, watch for pride in your children, whether it's subtle or blatant. Pride and arrogance can quickly sour one person against the other.
What's the Takeaway: Favoritism and pride/arrogance destroy a family in Joseph's case. The pain and wreckage in this story are very real, and can often mirror the pain and wreckage of real life families today. The beautiful part of this story is that at the end of it all, Joseph is reconciled with his father and brother and able to say that "what you intended for evil, God intended for good." God used this families dysfunction to glorify him and to serve His purpose in the world. Glory to God!
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