The iGeneration

Apparently, it's technology week here at the Family Ministries Blog. Here's an article from USA Today about how this technology-savy generation will grow up in the world.

iGeneration

Enjoy!

Food for Thought #8

I found this article the other day, and although I knew how much time kids, tween, and teenagers spent "plugged in" to entertainment, the numbers really shocked me. I found this article by Albert Mohler to be extrmely informative and food for thought.

The Online Life of Kids


So, the question for us today is that despite the growing trend of media and technology in all facets of life, do you have times in your kids life where there is encouraged/forced/mandated times of "disconnecting." It's definitely something to consider.

Are you overprotective?

Many parents can fall become extremely "overprotective." I saw this book the other day, and although I haven't read it personally, it looked like a neat concept. I'd love to give it a read one day.

You can't protect your kids from everything in life...so let them have a little fun!

(I'm not endorsing the book 100%...just trying to have a laugh)

Sibling Rivalry in the Bible - #3

If you have more than one child, and they differ in age by less than 7 years, you have undoubtedly experienced a bit of sibling rivalry. It can take all kinds of forms and it can be rooted in all kinds of emotions, but it is there. It's as old as Cain and Abel, and the "problem" of sibling rivalry isn't going anywhere as long as Jesus hasn't come back. So, I'm going to begin a series of posts (1 each for the next couple of weeks) about sibling rivalry. We'll take a look at different instances of it in the Bible, and attempt to learn something together.


Jacob and Esau (Gen.25-27)

What really happened: Isaac and Rebekah have twins. Anyone who has twins knows that there are some times where twins can give joy like single children born separately can't. They also know that there are times when twins can cause pain and tension unlike children born separately. The Bible says that the two boys were "struggling within her before they were born" (Gen. 25:21-26). Eventually, they grow up and Jacob tricks his father and takes the inheritance from his older brother, leading to the separation of two nations who still to this day, dislike each other.

What caused it in their situation: I think the main clue to this particular case of sibling rivalry is that "Isaac loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob" (Gen. 5:28). In this family, there were obvious favorites.

The End Result: Two different nations are formed from these two brothers after Jacob "steals" the birthright from Esau and tricks his father into giving him the blessing/inheritance.

Be on the lookout: Make sure you are on your guard and watchful about whether or not parents have their own, personal favorite kids. Dad, if you're spending more time with one child while mom is spending more time with another, watch carefully. I know that can be difficult sometimes (especially if Dad coaches little league and Mom is the dance sponsor), but it may take a conscious effort to spend quality/special time with each of your children, lest you, unknowingly, develop "favorites."

What's the Takeaway: Well, the most natural takeaway from this story is that if you have twins, you should keep your eye out for certain kinds of sibling rivalry that can be exasperated by "twin-dom." Secondly, in this family, we see the obvious dangers of playing favorites.

The Myth of the Perfect Parent

Maybe you've seen them...you know that "perfect" picture of some family on a billboard or a commercial. They look so happy...and perfect...and downright sickening.

At least when I look at them, they look too good to be true...too perfect...and it does something to me. For years, many people have labored as parents under the dillusion that there is some perfect example of what parents should be.

Here's a news bulletin for you...the perfect parent(s) don't exist. Every family has pain, trouble, heartache, and, most assuredly, dysfunction. There are no perfect parents, because there are no perfect people (except Jesus Christ). So here's the good news...stop attempting to live up to the people on the billboard...be who God called you to be.

There's also another false idea floating out there. It's the idea that if you do the right things with your kids (i.e. go to church, watch who their friends are, only let them watch certain tv shows, etc.) then you can guarantee your child will grow up to know and love the Lord. That, too, is a myth. Those things are good things and are attempts to care for our children the best we know how, but the reality is that there are no guarantees (just in case you're wondering, Proverbs 22:6 isn't a promise or a guarantee, although it is generally true).

When I ran across this article the other day, I absolutely knew I had to share it with you. Please read it...it's worth your time and is extremely thought-provoking. I don't know that I agree with everything written in it, but it sure made me think about some of those "myths" floating out there.

The Myth of the Perfect Parent

The WHOLE Bible

One of the things "missing" with most children who grow up in church is often a sense of how the entire Bible fits together. Because of the nature of children's ministry, and having to be able to relate to kids on the entire spectrum (completely unchurched to churched all their lives), this is something that is extremely difficult to do on our end.

But what if you as a parent decided that you were going to take your shepherding responsibility seriously and attempt to give your children a "BIG picture" of the entire story of God. I think it's a noble undertaking, and one that I would encourage you to do.

It just so happens, that the creator of Veggie Tales has just started a new project that has the intention of giving kids the BIG picture. I think this is a very interesting project, and I am personally looking forward to seeing this come to fruition. Listen in to this sneak peak...

I'm back...

I'm back from my travels and looking forward to kicking the blog back off. Here's the one thing I learned in my time off celebrating with my new wife...everyone needs time to just "be." When's the last time you shut off the phone for a few hours or even a day. When's the last time you didn't check your email for a few hours/day. When's the last time you didn't check facebook for a couple of days. We all need time to get away and to enjoy just "being."

That's what I did my best to do over the course of my time away. I'd encourage you to find time like that...even if you can't schedule along vacation.

Break Time...

The Family Resources Blog will be taking a break until February 1st. You may be asking why. Let me comfort you by saying that there are no emergencies or anything like that. I won't be posting on the blog for a week or so because I will be out of the country on my honeymoon. I'm looking forward to some rest and relaxation.

Hope you have a great week!

Robert

Interesting Research about Children and Church

After reading this article, I'm not sure what it all means for church leaders or for parents, but I do find this kind of research incredibly interesting. The thing with research is that it doesn't guarantee anything, but I did find the correlation between involvement at church as a young child/teenager and active faith in adulthood very interesting. What this article isn't saying is that your child is guaranteed to have an active faith as long as you bring them to church. It's far more complicated than that.

Childhood Experience Bearing Adult Fruit

Internet Safety

It's a huge deal. HUGE!!!

If you're not thinking about it and preparing for it, you're already behind the curve (especially if your kids are on the computer).

The link below is a tad dated, but it still offers a great overview of why the internet can be such a dangerous place and how you can make a plan to protect your children.

Internet Safety

Sibling Rivalry in the Bible - #2

If you have more than one child, and they differ in age by less than 7 years, you have undoubtedly experienced a bit of sibling rivalry. It can take all kinds of forms and it can be rooted in all kinds of emotions, but it is there. It's as old as Cain and Abel, and the "problem" of sibling rivalry isn't going anywhere as long as Jesus hasn't come back. We'll take a look at different instances of it in the Bible, and attempt to learn something together.


Joseph and His Brothers (Genesis 37)

What really happened: Joseph was the youngest son in his family, and his father "loved Joseph more than any of his other sons" (v. 3) because he was the baby. This caused quite a bit of "hatred" between Joseph and his brothers (v.4). He even receives special gifts from his father (v. 3). One day Joseph has some dreams. He then tells his brothers about the dreams. It just so happens that in these dreams, Joseph's brothers are bowing down to him. They take offense, and it truly is the straw that breaks the camel's back in the relationship between Joseph and his brothers.

What caused it in their situation: There are a number of things that fuel the fire of sibling rivalry in this story. The first is the blatant favoritism shown by Joseph's father. Nothing will put siblings at odds with one another quicker than genuine or even perceived favoritism. The second things that fueled this chain of events wasn't Joseph's dreams, but the way in which he talked about these dreams to his family. You can almost sense a great deal of pride and arrogance in Joseph when he tells these dreams.

The End Result: Joseph's brothers eventually devise a plan to sell him into slavery and make up a story about him being killed by a wild animal. They lie to their father, and Joseph is sent off to Egypt where he begins his life as a slave. That is the beginning of the story, but we know (because we know the rest of the story) that this was all a part of God's plan to preserve his people during the upcoming famines.

Be on the lookout: As a parent, you've got to be on the lookout for favoritism. Most parents would never admit to favoritism, but it can sneak up on you in a number of ways when you don't even realize it. Do your best to guard against it at all costs. Be fair...discipline when you must...but always be on the lookout for favoritism. In addition, watch for pride in your children, whether it's subtle or blatant. Pride and arrogance can quickly sour one person against the other.

What's the Takeaway: Favoritism and pride/arrogance destroy a family in Joseph's case. The pain and wreckage in this story are very real, and can often mirror the pain and wreckage of real life families today. The beautiful part of this story is that at the end of it all, Joseph is reconciled with his father and brother and able to say that "what you intended for evil, God intended for good." God used this families dysfunction to glorify him and to serve His purpose in the world. Glory to God!

Raising Children Who Are Confident in God

If you have a few minutes...or if you have a commute...do yourself a favor and listen to this message on raising children who are confident in God. One of your goals as a parent is to instill a belief and confidence in the God of the universe who loves each and every one of your children. How will be the next generation be impacted for Christ...listen up!

Raising Children Who Are Confident in God

Sobering Words

It's a common thing to do. We so often compare ourselves to others in order to gauge where we are. It often goes like this...


"I'm a good person, I don't smoke, drink, or commit adultery." Or...



"My kids aren't causing all kinds of trouble. I mean, look at her kids acting crazy in the store."

We all compare...it's kind of a natural thing. Most of us are desperately searching for that confirmation that we're doing a "ok" job. Unfortunately, comparison can be very dangerous when we compare ourselves to the wrong things or look at the wrong standards. I ran across this quote the other day. It is speaking about parenting, but there's truth in it for all of life. Read it, and then let it read you.

"We have ignored God's Word when it comes to determining how well we're doing, believing that if our conditions meet the social norms, we're most likely in compliance with God's expectations. And we make our judgements and comparisons on the basis of popular wisdom and criteria dispensed by a mass media that is run for profit by groups of people who have no intention or desire of pleasing God or meeting His standards through the material they produce and distribute." - George Barna, Revolutionary Parenting

Sibling Rivalry in the Bible #1

If you have more than one child, and they differ in age by less than 7 years, you have undoubtedly experienced a bit of sibling rivalry. It can take all kinds of forms and it can be rooted in all kinds of emotions, but it is there. It's as old as Cain and Abel, and the "problem" of sibling rivalry isn't going anywhere as long as Jesus hasn't come back. So, I'm going to begin a series of posts (1 each for the next couple of weeks) about sibling rivalry. We'll take a look at different instances of it in the Bible, and attempt to learn something together.


Cain and Abel (Gen. 4:1-16)

What really happened: Abel gave an offering to the Lord (the firstborn) while Cain brought "some of the fruits" (v. 3) of the land. There is a difference between their offerings. The Bible says Abel brought the appropriate worship to God and Cain didn't. Cain simply brought "some" and Abel brought the best, the first fruits.

What caused it in their situation: Jealousy and anger ensues because the Bible says that "the Lord looked with favor on Abel" and not on Cain (v. 4-5).

The End Result: God calls out Cain on his sin, and warns him about "sin crouching at your door." The misplaced anger (Cain was really angry at his own failure), led him to kill his brother.

Be on the lookout: What can often happen in a family is that one child is better behaved or "less hassle" than another. One child is more compliant and one is more mischievous and stubborn. When that happens, there is an open door for resentment and anger to build within children and siblings.

What's the Takeaway: What God didn't do in the Cain and Abel case was to avoid disciplining Cain because of his sin. But he did call him on it, gave the appropriate amount of discipline, and then warned Cain to be aware of the things in his life that were going to "sneak up" on him if he wasn't on his guard. With your children, especially if you've got one that's a more compliant child, it is best for you to be on your guard about "misplaced anger" and resentment that can build between one sibling to another based on how they are rewarded/disciplined by their parents. It can be a potential source of conflict and sibling rivalry in your home.

Important Dates at Firewheel

If you have children at Firewheel, below are some very important dates that you'll want to go ahead and mark on your calendar. These are the major events for kids from now until the summer. More details and information will be released as each date is approached, but if you're New Year's resolution is to "be more organized," this will help.


2010 Dates

Winter Camp (K-4th) - February 19-21

MERGE Mystery Trip (5th-6th) - March 19-20

Day of 10,001 Eggs (All Ages) - April 3

Summer Camp (3rd-6th) - June 21-25

VBS (3 yrs-6th) - July 12-16

Summer Music Camp (K-6th) - August 2-6