Sibling Rivalry in the Bible #1

If you have more than one child, and they differ in age by less than 7 years, you have undoubtedly experienced a bit of sibling rivalry. It can take all kinds of forms and it can be rooted in all kinds of emotions, but it is there. It's as old as Cain and Abel, and the "problem" of sibling rivalry isn't going anywhere as long as Jesus hasn't come back. So, I'm going to begin a series of posts (1 each for the next couple of weeks) about sibling rivalry. We'll take a look at different instances of it in the Bible, and attempt to learn something together.


Cain and Abel (Gen. 4:1-16)

What really happened: Abel gave an offering to the Lord (the firstborn) while Cain brought "some of the fruits" (v. 3) of the land. There is a difference between their offerings. The Bible says Abel brought the appropriate worship to God and Cain didn't. Cain simply brought "some" and Abel brought the best, the first fruits.

What caused it in their situation: Jealousy and anger ensues because the Bible says that "the Lord looked with favor on Abel" and not on Cain (v. 4-5).

The End Result: God calls out Cain on his sin, and warns him about "sin crouching at your door." The misplaced anger (Cain was really angry at his own failure), led him to kill his brother.

Be on the lookout: What can often happen in a family is that one child is better behaved or "less hassle" than another. One child is more compliant and one is more mischievous and stubborn. When that happens, there is an open door for resentment and anger to build within children and siblings.

What's the Takeaway: What God didn't do in the Cain and Abel case was to avoid disciplining Cain because of his sin. But he did call him on it, gave the appropriate amount of discipline, and then warned Cain to be aware of the things in his life that were going to "sneak up" on him if he wasn't on his guard. With your children, especially if you've got one that's a more compliant child, it is best for you to be on your guard about "misplaced anger" and resentment that can build between one sibling to another based on how they are rewarded/disciplined by their parents. It can be a potential source of conflict and sibling rivalry in your home.