Resolved...

Every year, I purposefully read Jonathan Edwards "Resolutions." He is definitely one of my favorite "old guys" to read. Many years ago, he wrote his own set of "Resolutions." To me, it's critical at this time of year as we look back on one year and look forward to another. Some of my favorite "Resolutions" include...

Resolved, never to do anything, which I would be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life.

Resolved, whenever I do any conspicuously evil action, to trace it back, till I come to the original cause; and then both carefully endeavor to do so no more, and to fight and pray with all my might against the original of it.

Resolved, after afflictions, to inquire, what I am the better for them, what good I have got by them, and what I might have got by them.

I'd venture to say there aren't too many people who think this deeply and this seriously about themselves. Self-examination is often a painful, yet fruitful exercise. Every time I read them, I think about how silly it is for me to think I'm really doing something important when I give my best effort to lose 10 pounds. Guys like Edwards had such perspective when it came to God and the world they lived in.

I highly recommend reading these "resolutions" and then let them "read you."

Jonathan Edwards' Resolutions (1722-1723)

The Cure for the Common ________

You may be thinking that I'm going to finish that sentence with "cold." I very well could, but I don't know if they've ever found a cure for the common cold.

Instead, I had a whole other epidemic in mind. As a minister to the next generation, one of the things I continually see in suburban kids is a sense of entitlement, which can often lead to "laziness." Personally, as I look around at kids nowadays, I see a lot of laziness. However, much of that laziness has been created by mom and dad under the guise of "love" or "I don't want them to fail" or many other justifications.

But is there a cure? Well, if there is a cure...it's going to start with individual parents. I read a fellow blogger the other day who seemed to be on to something about parents creating a cure for laziness in their homes. He proposed some decent ideas. Some you could adopt, and I'm sure there are others he hasn't listed.

Reverse the Laziness Curse

He's got some really good ideas in there...some personal favorites included:

• "Intentionally bore your kids"
• "Make your kids WORK"

What do you think? Is laziness pandemic in our community and in our children?

Merry Christmas...

And the angel said...

"Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord."

May you have a blessed Christmas celebration and may this thought be in the forefront of your mind as you celebrate.


MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

What You're Singing...

Whether or not you realize it, the more you hear/sing something, the more familiar it becomes. Sometimes, something can become so familiar that it loses it's power and ability to impact us. One of those "familiar" things I was faced with recently was Christmas songs.

Everyone loves "Joy to the World" and "O Come All Ye Faithful." Christmas songs have undoubtedly become part of our culture/world (i.e. - entire radio stations dedicated to them starting at the end of November).

On a hunch, I went and looked up many of the lyrics to these songs, and God was gracious and reminded me of just how powerful this Christmas idea is.

Listen to these lyrics...

"He comes to make his blessings flow far as the curse is found, far as the curse is found." - Joy to the World

"The hopes and fears of all the years, are met in thee tonight" - O Little Town of Bethlehem

"Born that man no more may die, born to raise the sons of earth, born to give them second birth." - Hark, the Herald Angels Sing

What if, this Christmas, as you were listening to a song, you asked your children about the lyrics of the songs that they may or may not know by heart? Can you imagine what would happen if dads and moms and kids were driving in the car talking about the realities that some of those very popular, and yet familiar, Christmas songs pointed to.

If that's not a conversation starter...I don't know what is!

Traditions are important...

Christmas is only a few days away, and it's always been my favorite holidays of the year. I don't think it has much to do with the presents (although I did love presents growing up). For me, Christmas brings back all kinds of memories and traditions. Here are a couple...

• Every Christmas Eve before bed, we would read Luke 2.
• My dad would always let us open one present on Christmas Eve to "prime" the pump.
• When I got older, our family would sit down and watch our favorite Christmas movie, "A Christmas Story" and laugh about BB guns, frozen poles and tongues, and leg lamps.
• As much as we wanted to rush through the pile of presents, my parents only allowed one person to open a present at a time. We all took turns and everybody got to see the joy on the face of the person opening the present (plus, it taught us a little patience, too).

If you have children, know this. Christmas time is full of opportunities to create long-lasting, meaningful traditions. Some of them are goofy and some are very serious, but this time is like no other when it comes to memories being made and traditions being created. Look for ways to create those kinds of special moments with your kids over the next couple of days.

Christmas is Dangerous...

Usually, those two words don't go together, but the more I think about it, the more I believe it. There is no other time of the year where children are tempted to be more self-centered and selfish. I don't really know what it is. It could be the fact that everyone is asking them "what they want." It might be tons and tons of commercials that are purposefully directed at your children. It might be that for your kids, Christmas, despite all your efforts, is still all about them.

And so, because of that...it's my belief that Christmas is a dangerous time for the hearts of your children. Proverbs 4:23 instructs us to "guard our hearts, because they are the wellspring of life." What are you doing over the next few days to protect the hearts of your children from the greed-inducing, selfishness-producing, and materialism-enhancing holiday season.

Here are just a couple of thoughts off the top of my head...

• Reward and acknowledge generosity and selflessness in your home
• Ask the children about what they're giving for Christmas as much as you ask them about what they want for Christmas
• Give them change/money to give to the bell-ringers outside of stores and then explain where that money goes
• Clean out their rooms of "old" toys in preparation for the new ones and give it to worthy organization/charity

I'm sure there are more, but I'll let you be creative on the rest!

What are you waiting for?

I've got a website that I am constantly looking at. In fact, along with a couple of others, I have this particular website set up so that any new posts/articles are sent directly to my email inbox.

If you're not following "Orange Parents" ... you should be.

What are you waiting for?

You'll find all kinds of incredible insights into how to be the kind of parent to your kids that only you can be...and, in doing so, fulfill a portion of God's call on your life as a parent.

Not Me! (a little Monday humor)

My dad always told me that if he ever caught that "Not-Me" guy, he had a number of spankings coming his way. You see, my sister and I had a way of, when something was broken, misplaced, etc, the answer to my father's question, "who did this?" was always "NOT ME!!!"

One day, my Dad discovered that the creator of the famous cartoon "Family Circus" dealt with the same issue. Enjoy!



This one always makes me laugh!

Raising the Volume?

One of the things that God has naturally gifted me with is what I would call "a voice that carries." Some people may call me "loud," but I'm going with a "voice that carries." As a children's pastor, there are times when this comes in handy. One of the ways it comes in handy is when I need to get the attention of a group of children who are being loud. My father modeled for me how to be "stern" as well. I remember as a child, him only needing to say it once.

One of the things that I, personally, have to watch out for with my interactions with children is to be careful of how much I might use that voice. I'm quick to admit that there have been times when I've straight up yelled very loudly at a child who was about to or had already done something ridiculous and dumb. I'm not always perfect, and sometimes I probably use that "yelling" voice more than I should. I'm not a parent yet, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that there's been some form of "yelling" in your house in the last couple of weeks. I ran across an interesting article the other day on this subject. I submit it to you for your consideration.


Here's a Dad's take on yelling - Why Yelling Doesn't Work


There are times for a stern and loud voice. Sometimes the distance between your child and yourself if far enough away to necessitate a loud and strong voice. I'm not going to say that there aren't times when a very loud voice (even yelling) might be necessary, but if you find yourself yelling a lot you may want to ask yourselves some of the hard questions that this article brings up.

You're in a war...

Because you live in the United States, and because you live in the suburbs (if you live within 15 miles or so of Firewheel Church), your kids will battle consumerism, selfishness, and materialism all their lives.

What's even scarier is that it's Christmas time right now, and the danger is for kids to begin to think that this time of year is all about them. I'm not saying throw out the presents and don't do Christmas this year, but I am asking you to consider how you can "war against" this mindset in your home and your families.

One of the easiest ways to battle materialism and selfishness is to begin to develop children with a generous heart and promote generosity in your family. Do you have a plan for that. Here's a quick little message to give you some inspiration.

What have you done to teach your children the importance of giving?

Repost: Christmas Tips for Dads

This is a re-post from last Christmas...but it's well worth it!

Now's the time, Dads! The Christmas season gives you lots of opportunities to create memorable moments in the lives of your children. Fight the temptation to fall into the same old patterns, or even worse, stress/worry yourself so much that Christmas time isn't the joyful time it was intended to be. Here's a list of things you need to be thinking about and challenging yourselves with.

#1 – Dad needs a plan for the holidays to ensure his family is loved and memories are made. Dad, what’s your plan?

#2 – Dad needs to check the local guides for what’s going on to make fun holiday plans for the family.

#3 – Dad needs to carve out time for sacred events and experiences to build family traditions that are fun and point to Jesus. Dad, is your calendar ready for December?

#4 – Dad needs to not let the stress of the holidays, including money, cause him to be grumpy with Mom or the kids. Dad, how’s your joy?

#5 – Dad needs to give experiences and not just gifts. Dad, what special memories can you make this holiday season?

#6 – Dad needs to manage the extended family and friends during the holidays. Dad, who or what do you need to say “no” to?

#7 – Dad needs to ensure his family is giving generously during the holidays. Dad, who in need is your family going to adopt and bless?

#8 – Dad needs to schedule a big Christmas daddy date with his daughter. Dad, what’s your big plan for the fancy daddy date?

#9 – Dad needs to schedule guy time with his son. Dad, what are you and your son going to do that is active, outdoors, and fun?

#10 – Dad needs to help Mom get the house decorated. Dad, are you really a big help to Mom with getting things ready?

#11 – Dad needs to ensure some holiday smells and sounds. Dad, is Christmas music on the iPod, is the tree up, and can you smell cookies and cider in your house?

#12 – Dad needs to snuggle up and watch some fun shows with the kids, especially the little ones. Dad, is the DVR set?

#13 – Dad needs to take the family on a drive to see Christmas lights while listening to music and sipping cider. Dad, is it mapped out?

#14 – Dad needs to help Mom get the kids’ rooms decorated. Dad, do the little kids get lights or a small tree in their room?

#15 – Dad needs to read about Jesus and pray over his kids. Dad, how’s your pastoral work going with each of your kids?

#16 – Dad needs to repent of being lazy, selfish, grumpy, or just dumping the holidays on Mom. Dad, are you a servant like Jesus to your family?

This list was developed by Mark Driscoll - Daddy Christmas Tips

Christmas Stress?

Are you stressed out already? Are you wondering how you're going to fit all of those holiday parties and commitments into one month? Are you stressed out about how you're going to get the shopping list done?

If you're anything like the rest of us, there is undoubtedly some Christmas stress that has happened or will happen sometime this month.

I ran across a series of writings about ways to combat the Christmas stress when it comes to your family.

Christmas Stress, part 1
Christmas Stress, part 2
Christmas Stress, part 3
Christmas Stress, part 4


Enjoy!

3 Websites You Should Know About

Here are three websites that you should know about as a parent. They are all connected to one another, but they each offer something unique.


Family First is a great ministry designed to help "promote principles for building marriages and raising children. They have three main avenues (websites) they use:


All-Pro Dad - They have a daily tip for dads called the "play of the day" that can be sent directly to your inbox each day. I know a few dads who get this every day, and they agree that a little inspiration on a daily basis helps remind them of their charge to be the men in their families that God has called them to be. Other cool resources available, too.

iMOM - Website designed just for moms. Much like the dads, there's a daily tip that you can sign up to receive. Sign up, moms!

Family Minute - Every weekday, there's a one minute audio podcast designed to help families. This can be delivered right to your inbox as well.


If I were you, I'd sign up for these things. There's something about regularity that helps you in your marriage and parenting journey.

It's the Most Wonderful/Ridiculous Time of the Year...

Black Friday has come and gone, and we're officially in the midst of the Christmas season. As I grow older, I've developed a little bit of a love/hate relationship with the Christmas season. Let me explain.

I love it because, it's a chance to celebrate that God intervened in the world by sending His Son to the earth. I still haven't gotten over that fact that God would love the world enough to do that. The idea that the "Word became flesh" is literally the event most worthy of celebration in the history of the world.

On the other hand, I live in a world that "celebrates" a much different Christmas. For the next solid month, I'll be surrounded by rampant consumerism, credit card debt, and some downright ridiculousness. It might be that I'm just getting older, but it seems to get more and more ridiculous every year.

So here's you're thought for the day as you wrestle with this tension about how to focus your family's life and thought for the next month or so...

There will be tons of people who are more more concerned with what they want from Santa rather than being concerned with what Jesus wants from them. How can you combat that in your family's life? What's your plan because you can't stumble into intentionality?

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope that you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday. I hope your weekend is full of remembrances of how good God has been to you and your family!

For those of you who work in retail...I'm really sorry about what will inevitably happen to you tomorrow.

See you on Sunday, Firewheel!

"Thankfulness" Activities

One of the dangers facing kids this day is the danger of "entitlement." I see it everywhere. Maybe you see it in your family...your kids...even yourself. One of the real blessings of Thanksgiving week, is that it's a chance to stop, pause, and give thanks for all that the Lord has blessed us with. I would encourage you to be very intentional about creating a spirit of thankfulness/gratitude throughout this week.

I found this link the other day, and it had 12 really cool ideas about how to make "thankfulness" something fun during the upcoming holidays. After you click on the link, the "Thankfulness" activities are scrolling across the top. Check it Out!

Thankful Kids - Thankful Families

Enjoy!

Separation Anxiety

One of the things children's ministry leaders have had to deal with on a consistent basis is what most people would call "separation anxiety." Almost weekly, there is a kid who is hesitant or outright defiant when faced with the realization that mommy and/or daddy is getting ready to leave them in the children's wing during our ministry time.

Did you know that if you have young kids, there are a number of ways you can help make this a "less" common occurrence?

"General Guidelines for Easing Separation Anxiety:

1. Develop a “good bye” ritual. Rituals can bring reassurance to your child and can be as simple as a kiss bye or a wave.
2. Leave without fanfare. Tell your child you are leaving and that you will be back soon, then go—don’t stall, just go!
3. Practice leaving your child. Leave your child with someone for a brief period at first to help him/her experience your leaving and returning.
4. Keep familiar “things” when possible and make new surroundings familiar to your child. When your child is away from home or a familiar surrounding, allow them to have a “lovey” or favorite blanket for comfort. Visit the unfamiliar location so your child can see where they may be going to be left with a caregiver.
5. Try not to give in. Always reassure your child that you will return and he/she will be just fine and will have fun—setting limits will help the adjustment to separation."

Source - LINK

Excited about the Bible?

Have you ever wondered how to get your kids excited about God's word? Here's a great list that might help. Although geared toward children's ministry volunteers, I think almost all of them apply to parents.

10 Ways to Get Kids Excited About Bible

I would agree wholeheartedly with #1. Unless you're excited about God's Word, the chances your children are excited about God's Word are significantly impacted!

Connecting with your kids...

Every parent wants to do it. Some are better at it than others. Here's a link to 10 helpful ideas of how you can connect more with your kids. I think a couple of these could easily turn into memorable moments. Enjoy!

10 Ideas for Connecting With Your Kids

What's Your Rhythm?

One of the most important, and yet least thought about, ideas within the family is "rhythm." Your family has one...every family has one...but what is yours?

Excerpt from Reggie Joiner - source

"If you were to analyze the rhythm at your house, you would soon discover that much of your family life consists of repeated patterns. As much as we resist that thought because we like to think of ourselves as free beings, we actually behave like creatures of habit. If you don’t believe that, take a different route home from work tomorrow, switch places at the dinner table, or change up the side of the bed you sleep on tonight.

That’s why we (try to) put newborns on a schedule as soon as possible. It’s why we tend to go to the same gas station when we’re home, because familiar is efficient. It’s why we keep a calendar, set up family nights, why TV shows lock into a time slot and stay there, why churches don’t randomly alter service times and dates (Hey … church this week is Thursday at 3 a.m.), why stores open and close on a schedule, and why we have alarm clocks. Our lives are largely programmed around a rhythm.

You have a ”normal” flow of conversation. As a family settles into a routine, much of the daily conversation can become transactional: Did you brush your teeth? Is your homework done? What’s for dinner? The after-school exchange can easily become, “What happened at school today?” “Nothing.” Rhythm can tilt us away from meaningful dialogue or lean us into it.

This is how rhythm establishes value. Things that become part of the daily rhythm are the things our families will come to believe are most important. Rhythm silently but significantly communicates value.

So what if you rethink your home’s weekly rhythm:

• What does it look like?
• Which nights do you tend to eat together?
• What do you do when you first get home from work?
• What is your nighttime routine to get ready for bed?
• What do you do every Saturday morning?
• How do you spend Sundays?

Discuss it as a family to see what you can discover about the rhythm of your home."

These are good questions to ponder...hope you will!

One year away...

Well, some of you may know...today is my birthday! If you know me well, you might know that today is my 29th birthday. That means, that I'm only a year away from the big 3-0!

So, how should I spend my last year before I'm "old"!

Any suggestions?

A Little Monday Fun...

Apparently, "Rock, Paper, Scissors" isn't a game of chance. There's a strategy to the whole thing. You better believe I'm putting this stuff into practice with the kids. I'm going to be so dominant!



Click picture for larger view

One Step at a Time...

So often, I meet and talk with parents who know they aren't quite being the spiritual leaders of their kids that they ought to be. They know that God has called them to be something more by His grace. What they often don't know is WHAT TO DO! Some parents even become discouraged, and think that they have to be some super-Christian-parent in order to make a difference in their child's life. But, here's the thing...you don't have to be super parent, you just have to take ONE step at a time in order to influence and raise your children to love God.

So, I've put together a list of a few things that might be "One Step" you could take this week.

• Spend fifteen minutes this week praying WITH your child
• Take one/all of your children for a walk and ask "what's the last thing you learned about God"?
  
• Go into each of your kid's room(s) while they are sleeping and pray that God would move mightily in their lives and ask God to use you to do that
• Find something pretty normal (a good meal, a sunset, a good conversation), and have a discussion about your appreciation for the "small" things that God does
• Read a passage of Scripture, and ask your kid what they think it's talking about
• Take home one of our "Cue Boxes" at the kids desk and use it at home.
  

There's all kinds of ways that you can take ONE step. Your ONE step may not be on my list. Your step may be something else.

But what would happen in your child's life, in your relationship with them, and their relationship to God, if you took ONE step this week?

We had them...we are them!

We all had parents who weren't even close to perfect...you're not even close to perfect either!

Here's a great article about why it's ok to not be perfect, and why you should point them towards our perfect Heavenly father. The link below is well worth your time.

Imperfect Parents

Forty-seven

I still can't get over it....all of 24 hours later, I can't shake the images out of my head.

Yesterday, at Firewheel Church, 47 people went through the baptismal waters. That's 47 people who stood up and said, "I'm a believer and follower of Jesus...that's who I am." Some of them were people who had been believers for quite a while, and were never baptized for some reason. Others were people who had trusted Christ in the last few weeks of our "Gospel" message series. Either way, it's still 47.

I don't think the people who were there will ever forget that day. I don't know that I will ever forget those moments. One of the reasons I love our church is that, so many people stayed almost an hour after service to celebrate with these new believers. Side note (in case you were wondering): apparently, an hour is about how long it takes to baptize 47 people.

What a day! Praise God!

My favorite Halloween ever...

I vividly remember my favorite Halloween ever. I was about 11 years old, and it was the first time that my Dad was going to let me and two of my friends go down our neighborhood streets by ourselves. Now, before you try and call my Dad and tell him that it wasn't a good idea, you've got to remember that this was still in those days where you could send kids out to play in the neighborhood by themselves (within certain parameters...which were always made abundantly clear by my Father).

So, back to the story. It's my favorite Halloween because my buddies and I had a great plan to maximize our candy intake. We talked for a week about the best way to map it out and what to do. All three of us arranged for two costumes (one of which would hide our faces). As soon as we could, that day, we put on our first costumes and RAN from house to house. After we had hit every house in our "allowed" area, we went behind my friends house (where we had stashed the extra costumes/masks) and changed. We emptied our buckets into plastic bags and went out to every house again. We even went as far as to "change" our voices so that any of the neighbors who might know us wouldn't recognize us.

Needless to say, I had so much candy, I was still eating it by the time Spring Break rolled around. Ah, those are the memories.


I tell that story for two reasons. The first, is that I've felt guilty for years for duping my neighbors into giving me double the amount of candy. I don't know if any of them caught on, but if they did, I guess they just applauded our ingenuity and never said anything.

The second reason is that I tell that story is because Halloween is one of those times where memories can be made for a kid. Everyone loves dressing up in something they're not, and every kid likes candy! Remember as you go out and about this weekend that memories are being made. Spend time with your kids, tell them about your favorite Halloween, let them draw a map of the neighborhood and follow their plan. There are all kinds of ways to make it an awesome night for your family!

Happy Trick or Treating!


P.S. - if you're one of those families that doesn't like Halloween and chooses not to celebrate it, I am already fully aware of the reasons you make that choice. All I can say is...is it really that bad to meet your neighbors and get free candy? There's a way to "redeem" everything... even things that can be used for evil...and use them for "God-type" purposes.

You're too busy...and so are your kids!

For years I've been trying to put my finger on something when it comes to the busy, suburban, American family. Well, luckily someone else is putting their finger on it for me.

I couldn't recommend this link any more.

Sabbath For Your Children

Read up and consider!

Are you creating apathy?

Apathy...there's a lot of it in our world today. If I'm honest, sometimes there's a lot of apathy in my own heart and life.

Despite a culture of apathy, I'm almost positive that there aren't too many of you that want your children to have an "apathetic" outlook toward the world...especially to the things of God. But as I look around the suburbs of Dallas, I see a whole bunch of spiritual apathy. There are some days that my heart aches for kids (especially teenagers) who have a major case of "spiritual apathy." Here's some ways you can create spiritual apathy in your kids (consider it the "don't do" list).


"5 Keys to Making Your Kids Apathetic About Faith:

1. Put academic pursuits above faith-building activities.
2. Chase the gold ball first and foremost.
3. Teach your kid that the dollar is almighty.
4. Refuse to acknowledge that the primary motivating force in kids’ lives is relationship.
5. Model apathy in your own life."

Here's the source link for a further breakdown of each key - Creating Spiritual Apathy

Hide it!

One of the very first verses of the Bible that I memorized as a kid was Psalm 119:11.

"I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you."

At Firewheel, especially in the children's ministry, we are convinced that kids should begin to learn how to hide God's word in their heart. There are all kinds of benefits to that, and I could probably write multiple pages about the benefits of scripture memory. Instead of doing that, I figured I'd share a couple of links that talk about "easy" verses for kids to memorize.

10 Easy Bible Memory Verses

30 Easy Bible Memory Verses


How can you incorporate these at home? I really hope you'll consider that question.

Cue Box

One of the tools we try and put into parents hands is a thing called a "Cue Box." It's a really simple thing, but the goal is to give parents some tools that they can use throughout the week to "CUE" spiritual conversations. Everything in the box goes along with what your child is learning on Sunday mornings. There's a DVD, links to cool online material, and all kinds of other fun.

Here's a helpful video another children's pastor put together to show his church what's in a Cue Box.

Anatomy of a Cue Box with Dan and Liam from dan scott on Vimeo.

If you need yours, come and get it at the check in desk! It's a great tool!

"I don't want my kids to be happy"

What a provocative title? Even better is a mother's writings about how her desire for her kids is not their happiness, but something else.

Click below and find out what she's really after.


I Don't Want My Kids To Be Happy

Interesting Statistic...

You know what they say about statistics...almost 80% of statistics are made up.

However, I was listening to a radio program the other day, and the author reported a statistic (but didn't say from where)....

The average six-year-old has already watched TV for as many hours as he will talk to his/her father during his entire lifetime. (He said this was average, and so I'm assuming this includes children who don't have a father in the picture or live with their dads.)

My heart sunk, and I began to actually think about this statistic. If it's anywhere close to true, it's no wonder the folks at Disney, Nickelodeon and advertising agencies all over the world have more influence on our children than parents do.


Dads, we can do better...let's become men of the second shift (when you go home, there's another, more important job to do).

Homework for the Glory of God

If your children are old enough, "homework" is something that inevitably occurs in your family's world. As they get older, homework becomes more and more a part of their life.

I recently read a series of articles that had some ideas about how to leverage the ever-present reality of homework to teach kids about God. Below are the 10 main points. For more explanation, click on the links at the end.

1. Explain to your children that God gave them their mind and it is his desire that they use it.

2. Explain that God created us to be “questioners.”

3. Explain that God chose their schools and their teachers.

4. Show them God’s creativity in their homework.

5. Explain how they can use their homework as a means of mission to reach other kids.

6. Use tests as an example of how God sharpens our faith.

7. Explain that God gives us gifts as a stewardship and it is a students job to develop those gifts and use them.

8. Word pictures are great for describing our relationship with God.

9. Use homework as a chance to teach cognitive thinking.

10. Spend time with your child helping with his or her homework.

Homework, a Devotional Time??? - Part 1

Homework, a Devotional Time??? - Part 2

Homework, a Devotional Time??? - Part 3

Modesty - Young Ladies

Having worked in childrens ministry for almost 10 years now, one of the things that I've noticed (just in that short time) is how much fashion changes and how "fashion" or wanting to be "fashionable" is a desire of most young ladies.

However, in the last 10 years things have changed drastically when it comes to the modesty of young ladies. Call it our culture, call it fashion, call it whatever you want...the reality is that most young ladies will have to be conscious of how to be "modest" in a world that doesn't particularly want them to be modest. And yet we know from 1 Peter 3:3-4 what God wants every woman to "show off."

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4


Here's a couple of links I ran across about young ladies, modesty, and how to talk about this with our young daughters and our young women.


Are Your Daughters Looking Sexy?

Modesty Guidelines for Girls


One of the great parts of these articles is a couple of guidelines that are given for knowing whether or not a particular outfit is "modest."

• "If you have trouble getting into it or out of it, it is probably not modest."
• "If you have to be careful when you sit down or bend over, it is probably not modest."
• "If people look at any part of your body before looking at your face, it is probably not modest."
• "If you can see your most private body parts or an outline of those parts under the fabric, it is probably not modest."

Moms and Dads, what are some ways you've addressed this issue in your home?

Having a family fight?

Families are going to have "fights." It's inevitable...like the rising sun or the Chicago Cubs not winning the World Series. Fights are going to happen.

I ran across an article the other day about how to have a "family fight." Not only is it good advice for a family fight, but conflict in general. Give a read and let me know what you think?

How to Have a Family Fight

Enjoy!

Parents...pay attention!

All this month, your children will be learning about "Initiative." It may not seem or sound like a super spiritual of an idea, but there is so much God wants to teach us in this area. Initiative is simply "seeing what needs to be done and doing it."

All month long, on Sundays, we'll be teaching the story of Nehemiah. I ran across a great video that you can watch (7-10 minutes) to understand where we're headed and how you might be able to use what we teach on Sunday mornings and continue the learning through the course of your family life this month.

Monthly Virtue Video

(To the right of the video player at the above link, thee will be an "orange-ish" button that says "October 2010 Virtue Video"- click on it and it should play this month's intro/overview video)

J.C. Ryle on Training - #5

Training Your Child to Love God Can Depend on You

“We heavily depend on those who bring us up. We get from them a taste and a bias which clings to us most of the days of our lives. We learn the language of our mothers and fathers, and learn to speak it almost without thinking, and unquestionably we catch something of their manners, ways, and mind at the same time. Time will tell, how much we all owe to early impressions, and how many things in us may be traced back to the seeds sown in the days of our infancy, by those who were around us."

“And all this is one of God’s merciful arrangements. He gives your children a mind that will receive impressions like moist clay. He gives them a disposition at the starting-point of life to believe what you tell them, and to take for granted what you advise them, and to trust your word rather than a stranger’s. He gives you, in short, a golden opportunity of doing them good. See that you do not neglect such an opportunity. Once you let it slip, it is gone forever."

“I know that you cannot convert your child. I know that they who are born again are born, not of the will of man, but of God. But I also know that God specifically says, ‘Train a child in the way he should go,‘ and that He never gave a command to men and women which He would not give them the grace to perform. And I also know that our duty is not to stand still and dispute the command, but to go forward and obey it. It is only when we move out in obedience that God will meet us. The path of obedience is the way in which He gives the blessing. We only have to do as the servants were commanded at the marriage feast in Cana, to fill the water-pots with water, and we may safely leave it to the Lord to turn that water into wine.” - J.C. Ryle

J.C. Ryle on Training - #4

Training Your Child to Love Church and the Lord's Supper

“Tell your children of the duty and privilege of going to Church, and joining in the prayers of the congregation. Tell them that wherever the Lord’s people are gathered together, there the Lord Jesus is present in a special way, and that those who are absent must expect, like the Apostle Thomas, to miss out on a blessing."

“Tell them of the importance of hearing the Word of God preached, and that it is God’s ordained way of converting, sanctifying, and building up the souls of men. Tell them how the Apostle Paul commands us not to “give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but to encourage one another—and all the more as we see the Day approaching.” [Hebrews 10:25]

“It is a sad sight in a church when nobody comes to the Lord’s Table but the older people, and the young men and the young women all turn away. But it is a sadder sight still when no children are to be seen in a church, except those who come to the Sunday School, and are often obliged to attend. Let none of this guilt lie at your doors. There are many boys and girls in every city, besides those who come to Sunday School, and you who are their parents and friends should see to it that they come with you to church."

“Do not allow them to grow up with a habit of making vain excuses for not coming. Make them clearly understand, that so long as they are under your roof, it is the rule of your house for every one in good health to honor the Lord on the Lord’s day, and that you believe that the healthy person who refuses to go to church on the Lord’s Day brings great harm to his soul."

“Do not be discouraged because your children do not see the full value of church and the Lord’s Supper now. Just train them to have a habit of regular attendance. Set it before their minds as a high, holy, and solemn duty, and believe me, the day will very likely come when they will bless you for your efforts.” - J.C. Ryle

J.C. Ryle on Training - #3

His wisdom about raising children in the "way they should go" continues to amaze me, and I've enjoyed sharing these with you.


Training Your Child to Have a Habit of Prayer

“Parents, if you love your children, do all that lies within your power to train them to have a habit of prayer. Show them how to begin. Tell them what to say. Encourage them to persevere. Remind them that if they become careless and slack about it. Let it not be your fault, if they never call on the name of the Lord."

“Remember, that this is the first step in religion which a child is able to take. Long before he can read, you can teach him to kneel by his mother’s side, and repeat the simple words of prayer and praise which she puts in his mouth. And as the first steps in any undertaking are always the most important, so is the manner in which your children’s prayers are prayed, a point which deserves your closest attention. Few seem to know how much depends on this. You must be careful that they don’t say their prayers in a hasty, careless, and irreverent manner."

“Oh, dear friend, if you love your children, I charge you, do not let the early impression of a habit of prayer slip by. If you train your children to do anything, train them, at least, to have a habit of prayer.” - J.C. Ryle

Another gem from J.C. Ryle

Here's another gem from our man, J.C. Ryle...


Train Your Child to Know the Bible

“You cannot make your children love the Bible, I admit. No one but the Holy Spirit can give us a heart to delight in the Word. But you can make sure that your children are acquainted with the Bible; and remember that they can never become acquainted with that blessed book too soon, or too well."

“See that your children read the Bible reverently. Train them to look upon it, not as the word of men, but as it truly is, the Word of God, written by the Holy Spirit Himself—all true, all profitable, and able to make us wise for salvation through faith in Christ."

“See that they read it regularly. Train them to regard it as their soul’s daily food—as something essential to their soul’s daily health. I well know that you cannot make this anything more than a form; but there is no telling the amount of sin which a mere form may indirectly restrain."

“See that they read it all. You need not shrink from bringing any doctrine before them. You need not assume that the leading doctrines of Christianity are things which children cannot understand. Children understand far more of the Bible than we are apt to suppose."

“Fill their minds with Scripture. Let the Word dwell in them richly. Give them the Bible, the whole Bible, even while they are young.” - J.C. Ryle

Old doesn't equal outdated...

One of the lessons I learned early in life is that just because an idea is old doesn't mean it's outdated. In fact, I think it was Solomon who said, there is "nothing new under the sun." In other words, it's all been done before.

Because of this idea, I really appreciate the men of the faith who lived centuries ago. Their wisdom is still applicable today, and I recently ran across a series of quotes from an old English preacher/theologian, J.C. Ryle.

In the next few (4-5) posts, I'm going to share some of his quotes about children. He was the father of 5 children and has some pretty insightful things to say about parenting and "training a child in the way they should go."

Hopefully, you'll enjoy and appreciate the "oldness" of it. Here goes...


Training Your Child Means Watching Over Their Soul

“Precious, no doubt, are these little ones in your eyes; but if you truly love them, then often think about their souls. Nothing should concern you as greatly as their eternal destiny. No part of them should be so dear to you as that part which will never die."

"This is the thought that should be uppermost on your mind in all that you do for your children. In every step you take about them, in every plan, and scheme, and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out that mighty question, ‘How will this affect their souls?’"

"A true Christian must not be a slave to what’s currently ‘in-fashion,’ if he wants to train his child for heaven. He must not be content to teach them and instruct them in certain ways, merely because it is customary, or to allow them to read books of a questionable sort, merely because everybody else reads them, or to let them form bad habits, merely because they are the habits of the day. He must train with an eye to his children’s souls. He must not be ashamed to hear his training called odd and strange. What if it is? The time is short—the customs of this world are passing away. He that has trained his children for heaven, rather than for the earth—for God, rather than for man—he is the parent that will be called wise in the end." - J.C. Ryle

Refreshed...

I'm not quite sure how to describe it, but there's something "refreshing" about going on vacation. There's this magical week where responsibility is put on the back-burner and you have a time to just "be."

I don't know about you, but every time I go on vacation, I come back feeling a bit refreshed. Some of you may be saying to yourself, "that's because you don't have any kids to take on vacation with you." That is true, no children traveled with my wife and I on this vacation, and I'm sure that decreased levels of frustration and increased levels of relaxation.

Here's what I'm getting it...

It may not be a vacation for you, but every one of us have ways that we are "refreshed." It might be an hour at the gym. It might be watching on of your favorite TV shows. It might be going on a walk. It might be reading a chapter in a book. Whatever it is, we should all seek out those ways, periodically, where we can be "refreshed." It's good for us!

So, what's your refreshment plan?

Going Dark...

One of my all-time favorite TV shows was "24." In fact, Jack Bauer may be the most awesome individual ever created for TV. OK...that's enough Jack-love for now.

One of the terms they would often use during the course of an undercover investigation or operation was that someone was "going dark." What that really meant was that because of where they were placed or what they were about to start, there was no way to communicate with that person. The plan was already put into effect...and there was no stopping it.

Well, guess what...yours truly is about to "go dark." Starting tomorrow, I'll be on vacation until Sunday, September 19. My wife and I are completely leaving it all behind for a week of cooler temps, no email, and as best we can, no worries.

There won't be any blog updates until the week of September 20-24. I'll be back then!

But for now...I'm "going dark"!

Pastor Dad

For you, those two words may not seem to go together. You may be saying, I know I'm a dad, but I'm definitely not a "pastor."

You may have an occupation that doesn't involve the church, but if you're a father, God has called you to pastor your family. The word for pastor really means to "shepherd." Here's a great article that will help you begin to understand some ways you might be able to "shepherd" and "cultivate" your family.

How to Pastor Your Family

Read up, men!

A different kind of 10 Commandments...

I recently ran across this list of "commandments" when it comes to protecting your children and families on-line. The internet is a dangerous place, and as your kids get older, their involvement with technology will only increase. As a parent, you better have a plan.


The 10 Commandments of online safety for kids

1. Thou shalt put the computer in a very public place.
2. Remember thy password and keep it holy.
3. Know thy children’s friends, buddies.
4. Remember thy monitoring software and keep it active.
5. Thou Shalt not allow thy children to post any graven images (photos) without thy permission.
6. Thou shalt not allow any contact information to ever be given out.
7. Thou shalt forbid any meeting in person with online buddies.
8. Remember to check thy child’s history.
9. Though shalt create a separate log in for each child (on a mac, on those other computers).
10. Thou shalt not close your eyes and hope for the best.

Taken from Sam Luce - Source

Would you add any "commandments" to the list?

I know what you did...

This post is mostly aimed at those parents who's kids are already using social networking sites and those who might have older teens. Because of the "connectedness" and "online-ness" (not sure if that's a word), of the world, almost anyone with an internet connection can know what your child did last night.

Do you know what your child did last night?

Online safety for parents - Article

After you've read that, check out SafetyWeb.

Churched...

I recently picked up a book off the bargain rack at Mardel. The title intrigued me, I spent the $3, and took a chance. I was so glad that I did. "Churched" is the story of a young boy (now adult) who grew up in a fundamentalist, Baptist Church.

As I read this book, I wasn't sure if it was a comedy or a tragedy. There were times when I was laughing so hard, my side hurt. And yet, there were other times when my heart sank (mostly because I resonated with something he said) because I "grew up" in church, too.

It got me thinking about the danger of "growing up" in church. Whether you realize it or not, there is a real danger for kids who grow up in the church. It's a completely different kind of danger...but danger nonetheless. Reading this book, got me to start thinking about what some of those dangers are.

What do you think the "dangers" are for kids that grow up surrounded by "church"?

Another article on the same topic for your benefit - Too Much Church

As You Go...

For many of you, life just got much busier. With school starting, homework, sports schedules, and all the chaos that comes with it, your stress levels may have hit the ceiling this week.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says, "These commandments that I give you today are to e upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

Now, I don't think this verse is asking you to start taking walks with your family...it's still WAY to hot for that. The principle found here is that one component of passing along our faith to the next generation is talking about the things of God AS WE GO!

So, always be on the lookout for ways that you can talk about and mention the things of God "As you go!"

In light of school starting today...

...Ithought I would share this interesting link. There has been much discussion and research in the last decade or so about children and how they learn (i.e. their learning style). I recommend finding out for each of your children, because there is nothing more difficult than putting a square peg in a round hole.

Test Your Child's Learning Style

These kinds of information can be extremely helpful to parents. As the old G.I. Joe refrain used to go, "Now you know, and knowing is half the battle."

When you look back...

Reggie Joiner is one of my major ministry influences. The best way to say it is that the way he thinks and talks just makes "sense" to me. He wrote a post the other day geared toward parents, and I just had to share it.

In it, he talks about going to the same vacation spot for many years, and how, as he reflected, he talks about wishing wishes he knew things about parenting that he only learned after his kids were grown. Hopefully, you can learn a bit from him! [link below]

Looking Back

Enjoy!

Generation to generation...

Psalm 145:4 says, "One generation shall praise your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts."

One of the things that I never picked up on in this verse was the word "praise." The psalmist doesn't use "teach" (even thought "teach" is used in other parts of the Bible). The psalmist doesn't use "instruct" (even though "instruct" is used in other parts of the Bible). He simply says that one generation shall PRAISE your works to another.

I am most indebted to John Piper for helping me see this distinction in one of his sermons a few years back. My favorite idea of the whole sermon was when he said, "there's a way to talk about the truths of God that can contradict the very value of those truths about God." A sobering thought indeed...not just for a children's pastor, but mostly for parents.

I couldn't recommend listening to this more highly...

One Generation Shall Praise Your Works to Another

Enjoy!

It's that time of year...

School is about to start. That also means that "Promotion Sunday" is happening soon. This Sunday (August 22nd) all of our kids will "move up" to their next grade level. That's always an exciting time, but you want to make sure you're informed.

Parents, be watching your inboxes for all the details.

Motivation or Morality...what are you teaching!

There is a difference between the two. You can concern yourself with whether or not your children obey, or you can do your best to help them learn the proper motivation for why obedience is important. I ran across this tidbit today...and it has me thinking!

"As a rule the decay of religion works out in the second generation as moral
rigidity, and in the third generation as the breakdown of all morality." -Emil
Brunner

Brunner makes a simple observation about families where parents try to teach children moral values without teaching them the proper motive behind those values (a love of God).

If Christian parents do not get to the hearts of their children and teach them why they should behave certain ways, they still might appear to succeed in morally training their children. It's true that their kids might appear to do and say godly things. But without those decisions being motivated by a genuine heart-love for Christ, all that's really happening is "moral rigidity." Kids are behaving in what appear to be Christlike manners and might even become legalistic about them, but Christ-honoring motivation is absent.

Fast-forward to when they have children.

That child-now-turned-parent has always behaved in relatively "moral" or "godly" ways, but their motivation was only to please mom or dad. Or maybe it was to impress others. Or maybe it was to try to earn some good standing with God....And they start to try to teach their own children to behave in similar ways morally. But their children see empty and groundless morality lived out in front of them week to week. They see mom and dad try to be "good," but why? And more importantly, why should they? Mom and dad never provide a reason other than "It's the right thing to do" or "It's what's best for you" or "Because I said so!" So this new generation--a generation that is not pointed to Christ or to love of God as the motivation for moral behavior--actually is where we see a "breakdown of all morality." They cast off the empty shell of morality they saw in their parents. ***

Sobering thoughts...be careful what you're teaching!

***Source LINK

Devotions on the Go!

Life with kids is a busy time, but that doesn't mean you can't teach some positive lessons along the way. There's always a chance to invest in your children, and some of the devotions can happen on the run. You can turn a trip to the zoo, a trip to the beach, or a trip to your backyard into a lesson for children. Want to find out how...click away!

5 On-the-Go Family Devotions for Summertime

Have fun!

Food and God

You can leverage almost anything to teach kids about their Heavenly Father. I read an article the other day that had three different food "projects" that you could do with your children that had an easy spiritual lesson tied to them.

Next time, you're cooking...maybe there's a way to have a family devotion.

Family Devotions: Cooking

It's been a fantastic week!

I just wanted to take a moment and thank all of you who participated somehow in our outreach to a local apartment community. The amount of kids that continued to show up each night was amazing. It may have had something to do with the free popsicles, but they stayed for the games, bible story, and crafts.

It was a helpful reminder to me as well. Ministering to people is often so simple. Despite our efforts to "complicate" it with strategies and the like, investing in the lives of people really isn't all that difficult. I was blessed to be a part of this week, and you can bet we'll be doing it again next year.

Have a great weekend, and we'll see you on Sunday!

Video Games and Impatience...

I was part of the first generation that really knew and experienced (on a large scale at least) the proliferation of video games. I remember getting my first Nintendo when I was 7 years old, and I loved to play Mario Bros.

As my video game system aged I never got a new one. When SEGA came out...didn't get one. When Super Nintendo came out...I had to go over to a friends house to play. When Nintendo 64 hit the market...I sure didn't get one. All I had was my Nintendo. By this time it was old and outdated. I still liked to play some of the games, but often it woudl take a long time for me to get it to work. I would have to blow into the cartridge (you know you all did it to). It would often take multiple tries, and I would often get impatient.

Today's child is met with a differnt world of video games, but the link between video games and impatience in children may still be there. I ran across an interesting set of articles the other day which talked about how video games and impatiece amoung children.

Learning From Video Games: Impatience

I Want It Now: The Fierce Urgency of Videogaming

Please don't hear me saying your child should never play video games, but if you do have them in your home, it might be wise to know what you're up against.

That's Not Fair...

I don't know how many times I said this when I was a child. And I know for a fact that if I had a nickel for every time I heard "that's not fair" from children in my almost 10 years of ministry, I would be a very wealthy man. My dad would always respond to my "that's not fair" with "well, life's not fair." I never really understood what he was talking about until I really began to understand who God was and how life works.

So, what's the big deal with fairness? Do we really want "fair"? We often try to trumpet the cause of fairness (that is until something until we do something unfair to someone else...and then we want mercy/grace). Funny how that works!

I don't know about you, but when it comes to God, I don't want to be treated "fairly." If God treats me according to what I deserve, I'm dead (Rom. 3:23).

I read the article below, and, for me, it confirmed many of the thoughts I've had about how we can talk about fairness vs. grace with our children. I highly recommend going a little deeper with your kids about this "fairness" issue. Don't just leave it as "well, life isn't fair." Begin to talk to them about how deep down inside, we really don't want fairness.

Life is Not Fair (And Neither is God)

37.7 Seconds

Are you wondering what that number is? That number is actually the average time "a middle class father spends in conversation and interaction with their children."**

Now, when I read that, I was deeply troubled. Surely, that's not the case. I REALLY hope that's not the case for the men of Firewheel. The demands on men are everywhere, but our first calling is to love/serve our wives, and to love our chidlren.

Guys, we can do better than than 37.7 seconds...we HAVE to do better than that!!!

Read the article at the link below men...get challenged!

**How much time should Dad spend with children?

I'm BORED!!!

It's getting toward the end of the summer, and I'm almost positive that at some point in the last few weeks/months, you've heard this from one of your children.

"I'm bored! There's nothing to do!"

Now, when my dad heard me say that when I was a kid, it was like Christmas to him. He would then run down a list of all the things I "could" be doing. That was usually enough for me to shut my trap about being bored and find something else to do that wasn't on his list.

However, if you don't want to go down that road, I recently ran across a list of "things to do when there's nothing to do." When those times come and your child can't find anything to do, here's a few ideas of fun, and yet simple, things to fill the time. For instance...

• Play rock, paper scissor
• Arm or thumb wrestle
• Try to retell your favorite storybook
• Speak pig latin
• Conduct an inteview of your child and pretend you're on TV

For the full list, follow this LINK

Are your kids excited about the Bible?

As a children's pastor, it can sometimes be pretty tough to try and get kids excited about the Bible. For kids who love books, it can be a little easier, but it's still tough. The Bible is God's word, and it should be exciting. Below are some helpful hints about how to get your kids excited about the Scriptues. Who knows, they may even re-ignite your own passion/enthusiasm for God's word.

10 Ways that you can build excitment about God's Word**

1. Let them see your excitement.
2. Hold your Bible
3. Teach them how to use it
4. Explain where it comes from and what it is
5. Give them a place to start
6. Show them how it can be useful for them
7. Encourage them to memorize it
8. Find out what excites them and show it to them in the Bible
9. Use it regularly
10. Pray

** Taken from www.ministrytochildren.com

For more descriptions about how to do each of these steps, follow this LINK

"Digitally Deluged"

There's a fantastic article by Dr. Albert Mohler (one of the real leaders in evangelical circles). Not only is he the president of a seminary, but he's probably one of the smartest dudes around.

He wrote an article on his blog about how the modern American family is "digitally deluged." It's well worth your time.

Digitally Deluged


Oh, and you should probably make his website one of your favorites...there's loads of awesome stuff to read through.

"Money doesn't grow on trees..."

As much as you said you would never say some of the things your parents said, I'm almost postive that 90% of you have used this line before if you've got kids that are at least 7-8 years old.

When my dad said this, it was because he was trying to teach me valuable lessons on the value of money. I learned some of them. Because we didn't have a lot when I was a kid, I understand the value of a dollar and a hard days work. Those are lessons I value deeply.

Although it's true that money doesn't grow on trees, there might be other ways we can teach kids how to value, use, and steward God's resources in the best way. If you'd like, you can continue to use that old line, but after about the fourth time you've said it...it has probably lost it's impact.

A recent article by Randy Alcorn does just that. He outlines 10 different ways that parents can begin to train their children how to manage money well.

Training Children to Manage Money

Good stuff!

Marriage is Tough...

It just is. When you put two sinners together, it just gets difficult. It is especially difficult because so many people enter into it with unrealistic expectations and "Hollywood-love-story-itis."

If you're struggling in marriage right now, I'd love to point you to a great website. Wherever you are, there is hope.

http://www.hopeformarriages.com/

Here's their story...It's definitely worth the few minutes!

Come and Party

Make sure you come and party with us on Friday night. We're ending our VBS week with a huge celebration.

Bounce houses, water slides, dunking booth...SNO CONES!

It all starts at 6:30...make sure you're there1

VBS - This Week!

Our annual VBS is this week. You probably won't hear from me much this week. The wi-fi is spotty out on the High Seas.

Come and join us each evening from 6:30-9:00pm, and set sail on the High Seas with us.

Have a great week!

The Second Shift...

I read an interesting article the other day about some recent research. The basic premise of the article was that in a study of nearly 4,000 couples in the UK, the frequency of divorce was directly related to how much (or how little) the husband helped his wife with tasks such as housework, watching the kids, etc. Seems like a no-brainer, but so few men really get this principle.

Read the article for yourself

Here's my conclusion...and this is based on Scripture, and not some article or research. Dads...if you're not helping around the house...get up off your lazy backside and do stuff. We don't have any excuses. Our call is to serve our families and our wives first and think of our own needs last. So, next time you change that diaper...or cook a meal...or take the kids outside to play to give your wife a break, remember that you're keeping your family healthy and strong

We should be men of the "Second Shift" because our work doesn't end when we get home. In fact, our most important job starts WHEN we get home.

Is your church your family?

One of the things that I often here in church circles is people talk about their lack of "connection" to their particular church. They lament over the fact that a particular church just doesn't feel right or it isn't meeting their needs. I had the privelege (and I genuinely mean privelege) to grow up in one church my entire childhood until I left home for college. That place was my family. One of the things I've noticed since living in Dallas and in the suburbs of Dallas is that people actually change churches in the Bible belt about as many times as they change their oil in their car. One of the main reasons people don't really grow in Christ is because they never stay anywhere long-term and let a group of people get to know them and get to know their faults/weaknesses. Where did our sense of family go? Who are those people in your life that know you...I mean really know you...and yet still accept you?

Here's one pastor's take on this idea of church as family...



Although, I don't necessarily agree with everything that was said, the principle may be true. Your level of connectedness probably has to do with how your serving, what you're contributing, and what you're giving.

I love the idea of the family meal vs. sitting down at a restaurant. It really made me think...

VBS is coming...

Make sure you sign up your children for Firewheel's VBS.

Sign up Online for VBS

July 12-16
6:30-9:00pm
Ages - 3yr - 6th grade (there's something for everyone)

Hope to see you and your kids there!

Happy 4th Weekend...

Every time the 4th of July pops up in my head, I'm reminded of the bold sacrifice and courage it took for our founding fathers to write the Declaration of Independence. When they signed that document, they knew exactly what they were saying, and they knew they were putting their well-beings and, perhaps, their very lives on the line.

I am thankful these men. If you've never actually read the entire Declaration of Independence...it is worth the time.

Declaration of Independence

Happy 4th of July weekend, everyone!

Commercialization of Children

I ran across this video the other day about the world children live in and how commercialized it has become. Check it out!



What are the implications of this for raising children who live a different kind of life because their allegiance is to God (at least I'm assuming that's your goal)?

Out of the frying pan...

...and into the fire.

I don't know if the author of this original quote was talking about children's/family ministry during the summer months, but I'm going to go ahead and assume they were.

We had a great week at camp...I don't think my body has quite recovered, but there's no rest for the weary. In two weeks, we have another great opportunity to teach kids about their Heavenly Father and especially the way he demonstrated that love for us, His Son. The gospel will go out again, and it makes all the toil and effort worth it.

Would you join me in praying for Firewheel's VBS? It's going to be an awesome week, and it's my prayer that some of our kids would trust Christ as their Savior that week. That's the kind of stuff that makes all this tiredness worth it.

Camp - Next Week

I'll be taking a little break from the blog next week. I'll be at summer camp with a group of kids. As you can imagine, camp with 50+ kids will keep me plenty busy.

I'll look forward to posting when I return. Have a great weekend, and a fantastic week next week. I'll be back on Monday, June 28th.

This is your brain on ______

The effects of technology are all around us. I've been on this earth almost three decades, and I am just astonished at how far technology has moved us. I was a proud owner of the original Nintendo (as a matter of fact I still have it hooked up at home), but the difference between the original Nintendo and the Wii or PS3 is just incredible.

Technology has given us all kinds of things at our fingertips that astonish me. Right now, I can go to my contacts, pull up somoene's name, press one button and have a map to their house from my location...it's amazing stuff.

What we don't always think about is the potential negative effects that technology can have on us. I read a recent article in the New York Times about the effects of technology on our brains. I found it extremely interesting. It may be worth your consideration personally and especially if you're raising kids.

Your Brain on Computers

Crazy stuff...we thought technology was all good...it might not be.

Wednesdays are for parenting tips...

What to Do When Kids Are Annoying

Dealing with annoying behavior is not like disciplining for defiance or teaching a child to follow instructions. When it comes to impulsivity, the child can't always make changes just by choosing something different. In many cases, kids don't realize that they're being annoying and they don't know what to do to be more appropriate.

Furthermore, these patterns often come from habits that have been practiced for a long time. These reasons are not excuses for inappropriate behavior but they're a further indication that the job will take concentrated effort from the child and the parents.

Part of the issue is immaturity; the child hasn't learned how to pick up on the social cues or restrain behavior as much as we'd like. But these children need more than just time to grow up. They need concentrated work to develop two character qualities: self-control and sensitivity.

These qualities not only help children when they're young, but they become tools for success as children get older.

Here are some working definitions for sensitivity and self-control to get you started with your children in this area:

Self-control is the ability to control myself so that Mom and Dad don't have to.

Self-control means to think before I act.

Self-control is the ability to talk about problems instead of grabbing, pushing, or hitting.

Self-control means that I limit the noises I make when others are around.

Self-control means that I focus on one thing until it gets done, before I move to the next.

Sensitivity means that when I walk into a room I look and listen before I speak.

Sensitivity is thinking about how my actions are affecting other people.

Sensitivity means thinking about how I could help someone else.

What are some practical definitions you've found helpful in your family?

This parenting tip comes from Chapter 7 in the book "Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character In You and Your Kids" by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN,BSN.

What kids want most...

...you might think it's the newest video game. It might be a new toy. It might be an iPod touch or a new cell-phone. It really could be anything. They may already be buttering you up for Christmas and that huge thing they're going to ask for.

But what do kids want most...

What Your Kids Want Most From You

This is definitely worth reading and considering.

Scripture Memory...and Bon Jovi

What does scripture memory have to do with Van Halen or Bon Jovi or Fergie or Carrie Underwood (depending on your musical preference)? Let me explain.

I'm always amazed (and yet shocked) to know how many song lyrics I have stored in my head. The other day a 15-year old song came on over the sound system in a local store, and I immediately began singing every word. It was like all those lyrics were stored away in my brain, and I was able to recall them almost immediately. Music has this mysterious power to it. When you put something to music (especially if it's catchy), it has a way of staying in our brain.

One of the things most believers lack in their spiritual tool belt is scripture memory. What if music and scripture memory were combined for kids. Well, isn't it your lucky day. It is.

...and this is just a sampling of their material. You can find more at www.seedsfamilyworship.net

And it's even available in the iTunes store as well.

Children and Grief

For some reason, God has chosen our church to have to deal with this issue more frequently than this pastor would like. In God's infinite wisdom (and I do not now know why this is so), he has given us this task. I trust that he is counting us worthy to walk through trial and trouble.

Here's a document I put together a while back about how to approach the ideas of death, grief, and the like with children. If you can't use it now, I'm sure it may be something to store away later.


Children and Grief

"It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart." (Eccl. 7:2)

How to teach your kids BAD theology...

Great video right here...although humorous, there is a great point!

Teach Your Kids Bad Theology: A How-to Guide - tangle.com
- Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

You're always teaching your children something. The difficult part of parenting is that you aren't always aware of what/how you're teaching them. It can be the littlest things or the littlest action that can stick with a kid for a long time.

Plus, the website mentioned at the end of this video might be of benefit to you as well.

Insight for Living - Parents

What are they (you) learning?

Although comical...this one may hit too close to home...

Now, don't get me wrong...I'm not saying you should throw away all you Disney movies. I still love the Lion King and Finding Nemo, but I wonder what subtelties, our children are being taught through the media they ingest. Their (our) minds are sponges that soak up all kinds of things.

Even more frightening, what are you assuming is "true" based on the media you ingest on a daily basis. I won't ask you to make a list or run-down the media you ingest on a daily basis. I did it earlier, and it was humbling. Nevermind...maybe you should!

How to start a conversation with a kid...

Some people are just naturals when it comes to talking to kids. They talk to them so effortlessly.

Others have a more difficult time. They look at the child sitting in front of them, and wonder (hopefully silently), "how in the world do you understand these things"?

So many times, the struggle is learning how to start a converstation. Because as many of us know, once you get some kids started, they'll go on and on and on. Cue - awesome website link.

100 Questions to Start a Conversation with a Child

So, even if you're great at talking with kids (even your kids), this article can't hurt. Learn how to start great conversations with your kids.

It's Memorial Day

...unplug yourself and enjoy your family.

Do something together.

Make a memory or two!

Two Great Things Combined...

I just love it when someone gets the idea to put two things together that you wouldnt' normally think would go together.

Below is the newest of these products. Here's the question...how many of you would give this a shot?

The Scooter Stroller...looks like a lot of fun!

Heart-work is hard-work!

We live in a world that promotes sensuality and immorality. As a little bit of a history buff (spent quite a lot of money on history classes in college), I can tell you that no other time (with the possible exception of the late Roman empire) in history rivals our current society's love of all things sexual, sensual, and promiscuous.

I ran across an article the other day that laid out a few tips on how to begin to prepare the hearts of your youngsters for a life of purity admidst such a promiscuous and sexual world. Here are there four tips...

1. It's never too early
2. Be proactive
3. Show that God's love is IN His boundaries
4. Prepare children to stand out

Read more - Guarding the Heart: Purity in a Promiscuous World

Airplane Mode

When's the last time you went into "airplane mode"? Before every flight begins, there's an announcement to turn off and stow all personal electronic devices. These things include cell phones, iPods, laptops, etc.

These are all great tools for connection, but there are so many times in life where these devices often hinder "real" connection. They can often hinder connection for those who matter most to us...our spouses and/or our children. We are connected and disconnected all at the same time. It's quite the paradox.

I'll confess to you, that I love my phone. I especially love being able to get on the internet from it, check facebook with it, get my email, and text. What I don't love about it is how often I can find myself way too dependent on it, and ignorant of what is going on around me.

So, here's the question for the day. When are you going into "airplane mode" next? When are you going to shut it all off for an extended period of time and just "connect." Maybe you need to shut it off to connect with your Heavenly Father, or perhaps, you need to shut it off and reconnect some with your family.

We've got a holiday weekend coming up...it might be the perfect time!

Mom's and Daughter's

There's may not be any other relationship that has so much potential (both good and bad) than the relationship between a mother and a daughter. One of the growing problems in our culture is the extreme lack of "modesty" that young ladies are learning, and moms hold the key to this principle and whether or not their daughters learn it. In a world of Miley Cyrus, Victoria Secret, and the like, why not start teaching our daughters a "different way." This website below addresses lots of those issues (as well as others) in a fun way.

I ran across this website the other day, and it is a great resource for both mom's and daughters. Moms, if your daughter is 7-13, you should click on this website right away. If your daughters are younger, get ready for it!

Secret Keeper Girl

"I learned it by watching you"

Do you remember this commerical?



Although, a little over the top...the principle they were trying to convey is appropriate. Your children learn most from watching you. Their little eyes are always watching. They're always absorbing information about how the world works. They follow your lead in so many cases.

So, the tough question is...

...What are they learning from you?

Ideas for Family Dinners

Dinner time can be an important time in the life of a family. For some families, a "sit-down-all-together-as-family" meal is hard to come by. If you're not getting them at some point, beware. Make it happen a few times during the week, parents...it makes a huge difference. This article has "13 great ideas for family dinners."

13 Ideas for Great Family Dinners

This list isn't exhaustive, but perhaps they'll get your creativity going and will help you look to prioritize family time, sitting around the table.

Just for Laughs: Jesus or a Squirrel?

Jesus or a Squirrel?

The story is told about a pastor who was into telling stories to the children. He'd bring all the children up, and they'd sit on the floor, and he'd tell them a story. One day he said, "Boys and girls, I want to tell you a story about someone who likes to live in the woods, but sometimes we can see him in our yards. Anybody have any idea who I am talking about?"

No takers. He said, "I want to tell you about a creature that lives in the woods and sometimes in our yards, has a big bushy tail, likes to eat nuts. Anybody have any idea what I'm talking about?"

No takers. He said, "I'm talking about a creature that lives in the woods, sometimes in our yards, big bushy tail, eats nuts, likes to climb trees, jumps from tree to tree--now, does anybody know what I'm talking about?"

One kid raised his hand to take him out of his misery. The pastor said, "Do you know what I'm thinking about?"

The kid said, "Yeah. I know the answer should be Jesus, but it sounds like a squirrel to me."

You Know You Want To...

They've frustrated you time and time again...so how about a little payback.

In this article, the author lays out 10 ways that you can frustrate your kids.


1.Don’t bond with your young child by giving him physical affection, time and attention.

2.Believe that professional child-care providers are adequate substitutes for your nurture and connection with your child.

3.Don’t cuddle, read, talk with or play with your young child.

4.Ignore all the fuss and hassle about rules, routines and discipline. Focus on letting them express themselves.

5.Don’t impose your moral and spiritual values on your child. Let her discover her own when she is ready.

6.Don’t let him feel a sense of ownership and responsibility for his choices.

7.Live your life through your child. His success is yours. His failure is yours. His achievement should help you feel better.

8.Never allow your child to be held accountable by having to experience consequences for her behavior.

9.Expect the best, even in areas where she isn’t gifted. Frequently remind her of her potential.

10.Don’t waste your time talking and dealing with issues of importance.



There are some pretty good thoughts in that list. Ephesians 6:4 talks about not "exasperating" your children (especially fathers). Are you doing some of these things...you may just be exasperating/frustrating your kids.

And even though they probably deserve a little frustration for how they've frustrated you in the past, it's good to remember that our Heavenly Father doesn't treat us in ways we "deserve."

Where did they learn that?

There's no doubt that you've been face-to-face with your child (after a particular "mid-doing") and wandered in your head...

...where did they learn that?
...what kind of heathen child spoiled the innocence of my precious, innocent child?
...I bet it was the TV?
...public school is the devil?

Ok, that last one might have gone a little too far, but the point is the same. We're always wondering how our children learn something. I recently read a post from another blogger. He called it "CSI-ing where your kids learned bad stuff."

CSI-ing where your kids learned bad stuff

The really hard question to face is, "Maybe they learned it from me."