My favorite Halloween ever...

I vividly remember my favorite Halloween ever. I was about 11 years old, and it was the first time that my Dad was going to let me and two of my friends go down our neighborhood streets by ourselves. Now, before you try and call my Dad and tell him that it wasn't a good idea, you've got to remember that this was still in those days where you could send kids out to play in the neighborhood by themselves (within certain parameters...which were always made abundantly clear by my Father).

So, back to the story. It's my favorite Halloween because my buddies and I had a great plan to maximize our candy intake. We talked for a week about the best way to map it out and what to do. All three of us arranged for two costumes (one of which would hide our faces). As soon as we could, that day, we put on our first costumes and RAN from house to house. After we had hit every house in our "allowed" area, we went behind my friends house (where we had stashed the extra costumes/masks) and changed. We emptied our buckets into plastic bags and went out to every house again. We even went as far as to "change" our voices so that any of the neighbors who might know us wouldn't recognize us.

Needless to say, I had so much candy, I was still eating it by the time Spring Break rolled around. Ah, those are the memories.


I tell that story for two reasons. The first, is that I've felt guilty for years for duping my neighbors into giving me double the amount of candy. I don't know if any of them caught on, but if they did, I guess they just applauded our ingenuity and never said anything.

The second reason is that I tell that story is because Halloween is one of those times where memories can be made for a kid. Everyone loves dressing up in something they're not, and every kid likes candy! Remember as you go out and about this weekend that memories are being made. Spend time with your kids, tell them about your favorite Halloween, let them draw a map of the neighborhood and follow their plan. There are all kinds of ways to make it an awesome night for your family!

Happy Trick or Treating!


P.S. - if you're one of those families that doesn't like Halloween and chooses not to celebrate it, I am already fully aware of the reasons you make that choice. All I can say is...is it really that bad to meet your neighbors and get free candy? There's a way to "redeem" everything... even things that can be used for evil...and use them for "God-type" purposes. That's exactly what the following article discusses - Halloween on Mission

Friday Media

This Sunday is Engage Hope Here Sunday at our church. I do hope you are using this Sunday to begin to train and model for your children what it means to serve others. Starting on Sunday, November 6th, we'll have some new themes and big ideas that we'll be leading children through on Sunday morning for the month of November.

As usual, it helps you as parents know what we're talking about so that you can reinforce what we're teaching on Sunday's, so that, as we work together (parents and church), we can make a difference for Christ in the next generation. So, here are the summary videos for the month of November. Watch them, and begin to ask God to give you insight into how these can become part of your conversations with your kids.


Elementary

Preview: Pit Stop (November 2011) from Orange on Vimeo.

Preschool

FL Preview : Happy Helpers (November 2011) from Orange on Vimeo.

Have a great week!

Birds and Bees...HELP! (Part 4 of 4)

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, I'm going to take on a couple of different topics that will require some length. So, I'll break it into "bite-size" chunks!


Birds and Bees...HELP! (Part 4)

You’re the Examples

I’m sure you know this already, but children pick up all kinds of things from their parents. Some of it will be good, and some may be not so helpful. My loving, pastoral suggestion is to model the kinds of behaviors you’d like to see in your children, and don’t be surprised at all if your children do the same things you do. Let’s this be one of those good kind of warnings…it starts with you parents.

Some helpful hints:

1. Dad’s take your daughters out on dates. Always tell them how beautiful they are and that you love them. If they are used to hearing that, it won’t be such a shocking thing when some 15 or 16 year old boy tells them that for the first time, and suddenly their whisked away into this “teenage-love-induced coma.”

2. Internet safety - Kids are becoming savvier with computers. Some of you could probably say that you 12 year old knows more about the computer than you do. For that reason, internet safety is critical. If you don’t already have some kind of monitoring/blocking device for your computer, I would recommend you do that immediately, especially if your kids use the internet at your home. All it takes is one misstep, one wrong click, or one pop-up from a website, and your precious children’s minds are given something their not ready to deal with and something that could stay with them for a lifetime. If you don’t already have an internet filter, I would recommend a great on for you. I actually use it on myself and an accountability partner of mine has the password to that I can’t tamper with it. B-Safe Online ( http://www.bsafehome.com/). This is a great filter. It costs about $50 a year, but that investment should be nothing when you think of all the dangers that are lurking on the internet that your children could get caught in.

3. Don’t allow things in your home (TV, internet, magazines, etc.) that could contradict what you’re attempting to teach your children. You’re not going to be able to do this fully (unless you become Amish), but we diligent in policing your home for these things. Again, ask yourself some hard questions.

Good Scriptures to Use:

- Genesis 1/2

- 1 Peter 5:8-9

- 1 Peter 3:3-4

- 1 Corinthians 10:13 (for older kids)

- Hebrews 13:4

- 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8 (may take a require a little instruction)

- James 4:7

- Psalm 139

- Job 31:1 (especially as boys get hormones)

- Plenty of others that I could mention, but don’t want to take up the room.

Resources

Mini-disclaimer: Please remember the disclaimer from the resources question. Make it a practice to always read stuff for yourself and know what’s in a book before you give it to your children. Some of the following resources, I have read personally, and others I have not.

1. Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle/Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman’s Battle – these are some great resources for parents. Half of the book is for parents to read, and the last half is stuff that you and your son/daughter can read together. If you haven’t ready the adult versions of these books for yourself (Every Man’s Battle/Every Woman’s Battle), you should.

2. God’s Design for Sex Series – I have not personally read these, but I know of some parents that use them. Everything I’ve heard has been extremely positive. This series have four different books that are gauged for different stages of a kid’s life.

That's it...we'll start up a new topic in a few days. Hope it's been helpful!

Birds and Bees...HELP! (Part 3 of 4)

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, I'm going to take on a couple of different topics that will require some length. So, I'll break it into "bite-size" chunks!


Birds and Bees...HELP! (Part 3)

When to Have the Talk

We’ve all seen the TV shows where the parents have to sit down and have “THE TALK.” I’m just not sure that’s the best way handle the sex issue with kids. There may in fact be one time, early in adolescence, where different ideas/concepts/etc. are talked about in an in-depth and lengthy discussion, but laying a healthy framework for sexuality is essential for kids, and that happens “as you go” (Deut. 6:6-7).

It really is a lifelong process! Just like investment, the earlier you begin the better!

There are plenty of times in the preschool/elementary years where the “differences” between boys and girls will need to be discussed. There may even be questions about “where babies come from.” As they get to the end of this range, there may be other questions. It’s really amazing what kids will come to you with if you have a relationship where they feel safe to ask questions. I really don’t think there are right and wrong answers for these questions. I would however, charge you to do two things:

- Don’t avoid those situations. If you avoid it, they’ll just avoid you later on in life when they have a question about something important.

- Answer their questions in an age-appropriate way that is comfortable to you.

I know I keep repeating myself, but one big key is teachable moments. When you can use everyday occurrences to teach your children about God and how’s he has made the world to work, discipleship gets much easier.

Boys and Girls…They are different if you haven’t noticed!

Little boys and little girls are going to have different issues to deal with as they grow up. Here are a few that I see being key issues for the individual sexes as they grow.

Girls

- Modesty – teaching little girls to dress modestly is key. I know how difficult it is to find clothes that are fashionable and modest. There aren’t a lot of options out there. This is just another example of the world attempting to communicate something to your children. Teaching young ladies to be modest is critical. I’m not talking about ankle length skirts, and loose fitting sweaters at all times, but I wouldn’t put my daughter (if the Lord chooses to bless me with children) in some of the things I’ve seen…even at church. Time to stir the pot: If mom doesn’t dress with modesty, how can we expect young girls to dress modestly? There is a way to be fashionable, cool, without “prudish”? Ask yourself the hard questions. Your 4 year olds and 7 year olds are forming life-long habits and worldview shaping thoughts right now.

- Beauty – All little girls want to be beautiful, and they want to be treated as such. Teach your young ladies the real meaning of beauty. 1 Peter 3:3-4 are verses that every little girl should memorize deep in their hearts.

Boys

- Eyes – one of the best things you can learn as a young man is to learn how to “bounce” your eyes. Teach young boys good eye contact skills. If they’ve learned to always look someone in the eye when they’re talking, it may keep them from looking “other places” as they get older.

- Self-control – this is foundational for any kind of success in life, and especially in the world they are going to grow up in. Help your young men learn to control themselves. Model it for them. Reward and appreciate them when they show self-control.

Come back for the last one...later this week!

Birds and Bees...HELP! (Part 2 of 4)

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, I'm going to take on a couple of different topics that will require some length. So, I'll break it into "bite-size" chunks!


Birds and Bees...HELP! (Part 2)

God’s view of sex

Sex was created by God for a reason (and it wasn’t just to fill the earth with people…read Song of Solomon). It’s an extremely beautiful thing, but it can be misused in all kinds of ways. One of the important things to teach kids is that it is a beautiful, natural, and right thing, but only when it’s done in right context (a marriage covenant between a man and a woman). Sex is a gift from God, and he wants us to use that gift in a way that would honor Him. He gave us boundaries to play inside of, and any “outside playing” is dangerous to us. There are all kinds of illustrations of this principle that you can use with kids. Things that are right and good, but when they are misused, someone gets hurt or even worse. God is not some “cosmic kill-joy” who wants to keep us from fun, but a loving Father who knows what is best and wants us to desperately believe that he has our “fullness of joy” in mind.

There’s all kinds of issues around whether a kid will or won’t misuse their sexuality growing up into adolescence and adulthood, but as I’ve thought about it in my own life, it really boils down to a couple of things.

- Do your children have a deep-hearted, unwavering belief that God’s way (even if it isn’t fully understood) is better than their own way or the world’s way?

- Do they really believe that God has their “best” interest (or their joy) in mind?

If these beliefs are firmly entrenched in their little hearts, they are going to be much better off than most of the other kids who grow up in this over-sexualized world. Do your very best to instill this kind of attitude in your young children. Pray daily for it. Believe and model these beliefs yourselves as the leaders of your family. As a parent, aim for these things. It’s not going to happen overnight, and it will take a lot of the Holy Spirit working in their lives to help them believe these two ideas with all they have. If a child can grasp and fully believe these two ideas, they will avoid so many of the dangers of this world. (And so will you parents!)

Keep coming back...there's more!

Birds and Bees...HELP! (Part 1 of 4)

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, I'm going to take on a couple of different topics that will require some length. So, I'll break it into "bite-size" chunks!


Birds and Bees...HELP! (Part 1)

Disclaimer:

I am not a parent. I am but a lowly children’s pastor. I am by no means an expert. I may say or write something that you disagree with. That’s okay. You may mumble under your breath, “huh…let him try that” or “naïve little man” or “really…you really think that…we’ll see.” I’m okay with you mumbling under your breath…just don’t say them too loud. My goal is to talk some basics, point you to some good resources, and plead with you to talk to your children about a God-way of viewing sex and sexuality. There is a lot more that could be said, but it won’t all fit here.

World/Culture waging war for your kids

Whether you realize it or not…hopefully you do, the world is attempting to (and rather successfully for the last few generations) communicate a worldview geared around sex. It’s everywhere. You can’t turn on the TV, drive down the street, or go to a local store without being bombarded with messages about sex and sexuality. The scarier thing is that, whether you realize it or not, your kids are picking up these messages. Many times it’s very subtle, but messages are being communicated.

As believer and parents, as a previous email spoke of, you have the obligation and duty to train and disciple your children in the most God-honoring way possible. It can seem daunting at times, but we all want the best for our children so keep working on it, even when it’s tough.

How the church has/has not dealt with the issue

The Christian community hasn’t always been great at dealing with the issue of sex. The church at large has attempted to make some grand efforts in recent years, and has attempted to be proactive about handing down a proper view of sex in the last few decades.

According to my dad, his generation learned that sex was dirty and to not do it, if it was talked about at all. The church ignored the topic. All the while, my father’s generation was learning to separate those two ideas: church/God and sex. The reality is that the two are inseparable and aren’t inseparable.

I grew up in a different time. I was in the first “True Love Waits” generation. That program started when I was in junior high, and by the time I was in the 11^th grade, I had promised to wait until marriage three or four times through different youth group functions or rallies. Their aim/goal was noble, but much of the research that has come back on it recently shows that it really wasn’t that effective on the whole.

I really think the church will continue to address the issue in proper ways, but as we discussed earlier, it’s not really the church’s responsibility. This is one of those issues that rightfully belong to parents.

More coming...stay tuned to the blog!

An illustration for fathers...a reminder for everyone!

I remember standing at the edge of a pool with my Dad telling me to jump. We all have those memories, and if you have children, you've no doubt had the experience of encouraging your children to take that leap of faith and jump into the pool where you're waiting.

Below is a reminder of why our faith glorifies God...

"Your daddy is standing in a swimming pool out a little bit from the edge. You are, let’s say, three years old and standing on the edge of the pool. Daddy holds out his arms to you and says, “Jump, I’ll catch you. I promise.” Now, how do you make your daddy look good at that moment? Answer: trust him and jump. Have faith in him and jump. That makes him look strong and wise and loving. But if you won’t jump, if you shake your head and run away from the edge, you make your daddy look bad. It looks like you are saying, “he can’t catch me” or “he won’t catch me” or “it’s not a good idea to do what he tells me to do.” And all three of those make your dad look bad.

But you don’t want to make God look bad. So you trust him. Then you make him look good–which he really is. And that is what we mean when we say, “Faith glorifies God” or “Faith gives God glory.” It makes him look as good as he really is. So trusting God is really important.

And the harder it seems for him to fulfill his promise, the better he looks when you trust him. Suppose that you are at the deep end of a pool by the diving board. You are four years old and can’t swim, and your daddy is at the other end of the pool. Suddenly a big, mean dog crawls under the fence and shows his teeth and growls at you and starts coming toward you to bite you. You crawl up on the diving board and walk toward the end to get away from him. The dog puts his front paws up on the diving board. Just then, your daddy sees what’s happening and calls out, “Johnny, jump in the water. I’ll get you.”

Now, you have never jumped from one meter high and you can’t swim and your daddy is not underneath you and this water is way over your head. How do you make your daddy look good in that moment? You jump. And almost as soon as you hit the water, you feel his hands under your arms and he treads water holding you safely while someone chases the dog away. Then he takes you to the side of the pool.

We give glory to God when we trust him to do what he has promised to do–especially when all human possibilities are exhausted. Faith glorifies God. That is why God planned for faith to be the way we are justified." - John Piper

Kids can teach us all kinds of things...what a reminder for all of us!

Friday Media

Laughter is good medicine...and parenting includes a lot of laughter!

Take a few minutes and enjoy!

Friday Media

For those of you who have talented little athletes on your hands, the following video asks you to consider how that fits in with a biblical model of stewardship in regards to parenting...





Time???

Energy???

Capital???


Have you asked yourself those hard questions when it comes to the reality of what God has entrusted to you to manage (your families faith health, your families' time, your families' resources)?

Are you at least willing to acknowledge the possibility that extra-curriculars (in whatever form) can detract from your main job as a parent (leading/shepherding that child to know and to love God with all their heart/soul/mind/strength)?

Thoughts?

One "thought-provoking" question

Psalm 145:4-7 says...

"One generation shall PRAISE Your works to another,
And shall declare Your mighty acts.
On the glorious splendor of Your majesty
And on Your wonderful works, I will meditate.
Men shall speak of the power of Your awesome acts,
And I will tell of Your greatness.
They shall eagerly utter the memory of Your abundant goodness
And will shout joyfully of Your righteousness."

It didn't say, one generation shall educate each other.
It didn't say, one generation shall regularly attend church and hope it sticks.
It didn't say, one generation shall send them to Christian schools.
It didn't say, one generation shall let the pastors teach our kids about God.
It didn't say, one generation shall lecture.
It didn't say, one generation shall _________...

It said, one generation shall PRAISE your works to another.

As John Piper says, "there is a way to talk about God that negates the very truths about God you're trying to teach/pass on."

So, how are you "praising God" in the presence of those younger than you, mainly your children?. Do you talk about God in such a way that your children know He is the praise and glory of your heart and soul? Does the very thought of Him lead you to spontaneous praise in the good AND bad times?

Are you "praising" his works to the next generation?

The countdown has begun...

One month...

31 days...

744 hours...


That's right...no matter how I count it, it's getting closer and closer and closer. Today is October 3, and the official due date (Nov. 3) for Lauren and I's little "Nathan" is only one month away. Now, I know that at any moment in the next month, a series of events could happen that surprises us and shortens the amount of time we have.

The room is ready...the crib is put together...the car seats are ready to be installed...

Is there any other advice you current parents would give us about what we should do during the next month as we wait?

One friend, told me to go see a movie on a whim at the theater (just because you can) ...what else?