Throwback Thursday #8

For some who haven't been around here that long, this website is a few years old, and there are wonderful things that I'd like to put in front some of our "newbies" and remind some of the rest of you about. So, we're revisiting some early posts each week on Thursdays!

Original post below:

Modesty - Young Ladies

Having worked in childrens ministry for almost 10 years now, one of the things that I've noticed (just in that short time) is how much fashion changes and how "fashion" or wanting to be "fashionable" is a desire of most young ladies.

However, in the last 10 years things have changed drastically when it comes to the modesty of young ladies. Call it our culture, call it fashion, call it whatever you want...the reality is that most young ladies will have to be conscious of how to be "modest" in a world that doesn't particularly want them to be modest. And yet we know from 1 Peter 3:3-4 what God wants every woman to "show off."

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4


Here's a couple of links I ran across about young ladies, modesty, and how to talk about this with our young daughters and our young women.


Are Your Daughters Looking Sexy?

Modesty Guidelines for Girls


One of the great parts of these articles is a couple of guidelines that are given for knowing whether or not a particular outfit is "modest."

• "If you have trouble getting into it or out of it, it is probably not modest."
• "If you have to be careful when you sit down or bend over, it is probably not modest."
• "If people look at any part of your body before looking at your face, it is probably not modest."
• "If you can see your most private body parts or an outline of those parts under the fabric, it is probably not modest."

Moms and Dads, what are some ways you've addressed this issue in your home?

Big News...

The Morris family is expecting our first child at the beginning of November. Lauren and I are excited, a little nervous, and honored that God would give us the responsibility of another life. As I work with so many parents, I realize how awesome and yet challenging parenting can be.

On Thursday we were able to see our little one for the first time, and this Daddy is already smitten!

Pray for us!

It's got to be in YOU first...

One of my favorite author/pastors is John Piper. When he was asked about how to teach children about God and have them memorizing Scripture, his answer was simple (below). He reminded us once again, that you can't expect something to be in them, if it's not IN you. Passion for God and the Scriptures in his words will "spill over," but only if it's real in your own life.

How can parents help their kids memorize the Bible?

What an awesome reminder!

Throwback Thursday #7

Throwback Thursday #6

For some who haven't been around here that long, this website is a few years old, and there are wonderful things that I'd like to put in front some of our "newbies" and remind some of the rest of you about. So, we're revisiting some early posts each week on Thursdays!

Original post below:

Self-Control...It's A Big Deal!

I ran across this article the other day. I must admit, it was right up my alley! I've always loved research and reading people who are so much smarter than me talk about things that I think I understand, but could never put a finger on! Here's the link to the article. Look at it this way, even if you don't understand half of the words in it, you can at least drop "I was reading an article from the New Yorker the other day" into conversation...people will think you're really smart.

The Secret of Self-Control

Although it's not written from a Christian perspective, there are definitely some things we could learn and think about. Worst case, it might be a reminder to go to your concordance and look up all those great verses about "self-control."

Robert

The "Illusion" of Control

It was a hard weekend in the life of Firewheel Church. As many of you may already know, David Shaver, one of our faithful members died suddenly at the age of 46 on Saturday. I wish this was a new experience for Firewheel, but for the fourth time in the last 2-3 years we have had to deal with the death of someone "much too young."

Every time this happens, the Lord gently whispers in my ear "that illusion of control you think you have is just that...an illusion." I'm reminded today of just how fleeting life can be (James said something about our life being a "vapor"). I'm reminded that I'm not guaranteed tomorrow and for that matter, I don't know what the rest of the day holds. My five-year plans, my plans for next month are dependent on His will and His purpose. And all his ways and purposes are "good," even when they don't look "good" from our perspective.

Oh, Father, please remind me today in your ever-so-loving way, that my very life is dependent on you and the breath you give.

None of us really knows why God does the things he does, in the time that he does, but in the words of Peter to Jesus... "to whom else shall we go, you have the words of eternal life." (John 6:68).

Please continue to pray for the Shaver family, especially his wife, Tonya.

God's best for your family?

Some people are just smarter than me...or they know how to say something that's been on my heart, but they're able to actually say it in a way that is beneficial to the listener. Rather than my stumbling and often confusing mess that seems to come from my mouth (at least that's how it seems sometimes).

Larry Shallenberger is one of those people when it comes to family/children's ministry. The question was posed to him recently about what he thought "were the biggest cultural forces that pull families away from God's best for them."

Here's his response:

"I’m going to define “God’s best” as “imperfect and messy families being caught up in God’s story.” That’s probably as good as things get in this life. Anybody making bigger claims is probably trying to sell us something.

The cultural forces that challenge families? I’d go with:

1) The crisis of fatherlessness in America: There’s an epidemic children being raise without dads. When this happens, moms tend to be overworked and chronically exhausted; boys tend to get caught up in violence and crime; and educational performance goes down in boys and girls. The family lowers it’s goals to survival and connection with God drops off the radar. Every children and youth pastor in America should read two books– Fatherless Generation by Dr. John Sowers and Father Fiction by Donald Miller.

2) Consumerism: My greatest fear about family ministry is we package them as commodities that will fix families and make them happier, more virtuous, and godlier. Those are all fantastic goals. However, I don’t see those families in scripture. What I see, particularly in the book of Genesis, is that God collects a large train-wreck of a family, and, by his mercy, enfolds them into his plan for redemption. God isn’t a product to fix families." – Larry Shallenberger

These two issues are just as prevalent in the suburbs as they are in low-income areas. In fact, the second one may be even more of a danger in the 'burbs.

Your thoughts when you read this?

Throwback Thursday #6

For some who haven't been around here that long, this website is a few years old, and there are wonderful things that I'd like to put in front some of our "newbies" and remind some of the rest of you about. So, we're revisiting some early posts each week on Thursdays!

Original post below:

Family Rituals

The other day, I remembered one of the traditions my family had. After every Sunday night church service, my dad would take my sister and I to Taco Bell. We loved it. My dad loved it because he took us "out to eat" and the whole family could eat for around $12. Even in his frugality, my father was doing something very important...establishing family rituals. For my sister and I, we looked forward to it all week, and I'm sure he did as well. It was one of those things we did as a family. There were many more "rituals" in our family and each of them bring some fond memories.

I was reading an article on the Psychology Today website, and it was talking about the importance of family rituals.. The premise of the article was that these family rituals are simple, yet powerful gifts to your children. They listed a few characteristics that make family rituals so powerful.

Here are the characteristics it lists as:

• They are low-key that everyone likes to participate
• They allow time to talk and socialize, but they don't require deep conversation
• They need to be done regularly and predictably
• They need to balance regularity and flexibility.

Link to Article - Simple Gifts

Devastation in Japan

The biggest news story of the weekend was definitely the large earthquake and resulting tsunami that hit the country of Japan. Last time I checked, the death toll had reached thousands.

As kids get a little bit older, and begin to see some of these "types" of things happening in the world, they can begin to ask a lot of good/reasonable questions about why this kind of stuff happens or why God didn't do something about it. Whether they realize it or not, they are really asking a question that has been asked for thousands and thousands of years. Why does bad stuff happen? How does God and suffering go together?

It's in that vein, that I offer up a few resources that might help you as a parent talk to your kids about these types of things. These are meant for your own personal development as opposed to giving them to your kids.

John Piper helps me tremendously with the way he handles this issue, here are some links to some resources specific to Japan and others from previous natural disasters.

• A Prayer for Japan
• How Can I Believe God is in Control When Something Bad Happens?
• Is God's sovereignty limited?
• Tsunami, Sovereignty, and Mercy
• Tsunami and Repentance
  

And finally, this last link is a little paper I wrote up about the "seeming" contradiction (because there is none) between a "mean" God in the Old Testament and a God of "grace" in the New Testament - Did God Change?

Hope they help!

Best Toys Ever!

I had some pretty awesome toys growing up in the 80's. G.I. Joe, Nintendo, Hot wheels, and many others. But, there's one thing I knew how to do...and that was go outside and completely invent a game with almost no "raw" materials.

It's in that vein, that I present to you the top 5 toys of all time...

The 5 Best Toys of All Time

I absolutely love his list, and think we should introduce more and more kids to this list...rather than huge piles of video games and the like.

Have a great weekend!

Throwback Thursday #5

For some who haven't been around here that long, this website is a few years old, and there are wonderful things that I'd like to put in front some of our "newbies" and remind some of the rest of you about. So, we're revisiting some early posts each week on Thursdays!


Original post below:

Healthy Discipline

While poking around the internet one day looking for resources for parenting, I ran into this little list. It's 10 principles for healthy discipline. I thought they were right on...

1. Goal set first. Proverbs 29:17 says, “Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.” You should understand the reason behind discipline. You are taking your children somewhere they need to go.
2. You should never discipline in anger. You will say things you do not mean and do things you should not do. Discipline done is anger is rarely productive and usually harmful long-term.
3. At the time of need for discipline, remember this 3-step process: Stop/Think/Proceed. The older your child gets the longer you can and may need to take with each step.
4. Be consistent in your discipline plan. It will mean nothing to the child otherwise.
5. Pre-think principles, but do not try to pre-plan specifics. You should have some value-centered, character-based goals you want discipline to promote in your child. You should avoid declaring what you will do when your child does something specific. Don’t ever say, for example, my child will never wear his hair long. You may regret those words someday.
6. Differentiate discipline for each child. To spank or not to spank should not be as big a deal as what works best for the child.
   
7. Do not make threats with which you are unwilling to follow through. Your children will catch on to that real quick.
8. Use age appropriate and action appropriate discipline. As a child matures the discipline should mature with them. At the same time, do not overkill a minor incident or ignore a major occurrence.
9. Always discipline the child for results. Discipline in its concept is not necessarily pleasant, but it reaps a reward if done right. Hebrews 12:11 says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
10. Discipline should never teach a child he or she is unloved. Actually, if done right, it should reinforce the love a parent has for the child. (Hebrews 12:7-10)

The list above was developed by fellow pastor, Ron Edmonson.


Anybody have any more they want to add to the list?

New Opportunity for Parents

If you weren't at church on Sunday or didn't read that fantastic thing we put in your hands each week that tells you what's going on, called the bulletin (or as we affectionately call it in the office, the "bulle-guide"), then you might have missed it.

Starting the Wednesday after Spring Break (March 23), we're going to be starting up a new group on Wednesday nights especially for parents. We're calling it "Parenting Beyond Your Capacity" and the basic premise is that, as parents, you only have so much capacity to influence your children. Throughout the weeks, we're going to be taking a look at how you can tap into other resources (some of which are evident and some of which you might not have ever thought about) so that you can go above and beyond your own CAPACITY when it comes to parenting.

We'll be starting Wednesday, March 23rd and for 10 total Wednesdays from 6:45-8:15pm. I'm looking forward to leading the group...I'd love to have you join us!

Birds and the Bees

Doesn't matter if you're in a TV show or you're just a normal, average, run-of-the-mill parent, one of the things that makes you nervous is having to talk to your kids about sex.





But today's world is changing. Parents are realizing that the discussion about man/woman differences, sex, and all that goes along with it has to happen much earlier in a kid's life than it had to 20-30 years ago.

Parent's, you've got to have a plan when it comes to how you talk to your kids about sex. The article below is not only full of wisdom, but also full of other links to research and articles to give you further help along the way. Read up, I think it's a very good reminder of the responsibility and the importance of the parent-child relationship when it comes to these discussions.

How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex

Do you have a plan? If not, when are you planning on making a plan?

Throwback Thursday #4

For some who haven't been around here that long, this website is a few years old, and there are wonderful things that I'd like to put in front some of our "newbies" and remind some of the rest of you about. So, we're revisiting some early posts each week on Thursdays!


Original post below:


Video Games and Impatience...

I was part of the first generation that really knew and experienced (on a large scale at least) the proliferation of video games. I remember getting my first Nintendo when I was 7 years old, and I loved to play Mario Bros.

As my video game system aged I never got a new one. When SEGA came out...didn't get one. When Super Nintendo came out...I had to go over to a friends house to play. When Nintendo 64 hit the market...I sure didn't get one. All I had was my Nintendo. By this time it was old and outdated. I still liked to play some of the games, but often it woudl take a long time for me to get it to work. I would have to blow into the cartridge (you know you all did it to). It would often take multiple tries, and I would often get impatient.

Today's child is met with a differnt world of video games, but the link between video games and impatience in children may still be there. I ran across an interesting set of articles the other day which talked about how video games and impatiece amoung children.

Learning From Video Games: Impatience

I Want It Now: The Fierce Urgency of Videogaming

Please don't hear me saying your child should never play video games, but if you do have them in your home, it might be wise to know what you're up against.