If you have more than one child, and they differ in age by less than 7 years, you have undoubtedly experienced a bit of sibling rivalry. It can take all kinds of forms and it can be rooted in all kinds of emotions, but it is there. It's as old as Cain and Abel, and the "problem" of sibling rivalry isn't going anywhere as long as Jesus hasn't come back. We'll take a look at different instances of it in the Bible, and attempt to learn something together.
Joseph and His Brothers (Genesis 37)
What really happened: Joseph was the youngest son in his family, and his father "loved Joseph more than any of his other sons" (v. 3) because he was the baby. This caused quite a bit of "hatred" between Joseph and his brothers (v.4). He even receives special gifts from his father (v. 3). One day Joseph has some dreams. He then tells his brothers about the dreams. It just so happens that in these dreams, Joseph's brothers are bowing down to him. They take offense, and it truly is the straw that breaks the camel's back in the relationship between Joseph and his brothers.
What caused it in their situation: There are a number of things that fuel the fire of sibling rivalry in this story. The first is the blatant favoritism shown by Joseph's father. Nothing will put siblings at odds with one another quicker than genuine or even perceived favoritism. The second things that fueled this chain of events wasn't Joseph's dreams, but the way in which he talked about these dreams to his family. You can almost sense a great deal of pride and arrogance in Joseph when he tells these dreams.
The End Result: Joseph's brothers eventually devise a plan to sell him into slavery and make up a story about him being killed by a wild animal. They lie to their father, and Joseph is sent off to Egypt where he begins his life as a slave. That is the beginning of the story, but we know (because we know the rest of the story) that this was all a part of God's plan to preserve his people during the upcoming famines.
Be on the lookout: As a parent, you've got to be on the lookout for favoritism. Most parents would never admit to favoritism, but it can sneak up on you in a number of ways when you don't even realize it. Do your best to guard against it at all costs. Be fair...discipline when you must...but always be on the lookout for favoritism. In addition, watch for pride in your children, whether it's subtle or blatant. Pride and arrogance can quickly sour one person against the other.
What's the Takeaway: Favoritism and pride/arrogance destroy a family in Joseph's case. The pain and wreckage in this story are very real, and can often mirror the pain and wreckage of real life families today. The beautiful part of this story is that at the end of it all, Joseph is reconciled with his father and brother and able to say that "what you intended for evil, God intended for good." God used this families dysfunction to glorify him and to serve His purpose in the world. Glory to God!
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