Birds and Bees...HELP! (Part 3)
When to Have the Talk
We’ve all seen the TV shows where the parents have to sit down and have “THE TALK.” I’m just not sure that’s the best way handle the sex issue with kids. There may in fact be one time, early in adolescence, where different ideas/concepts/etc. are talked about in an in-depth and lengthy discussion, but laying a healthy framework for sexuality is essential for kids, and that happens “as you go” (Deut. 6:6-7).
It really is a lifelong process! Just like investment, the earlier you begin the better!
There are plenty of times in the preschool/elementary years where the “differences” between boys and girls will need to be discussed. There may even be questions about “where babies come from.” As they get to the end of this range, there may be other questions. It’s really amazing what kids will come to you with if you have a relationship where they feel safe to ask questions. I really don’t think there are right and wrong answers for these questions. I would however, charge you to do two things:
- Don’t avoid those situations. If you avoid it, they’ll just avoid you later on in life when they have a question about something important.
- Answer their questions in an age-appropriate way that is comfortable to you.
I know I keep repeating myself, but one big key is teachable moments. When you can use everyday occurrences to teach your children about God and how’s he has made the world to work, discipleship gets much easier.
Boys and Girls…They are different if you haven’t noticed!
Little boys and little girls are going to have different issues to deal with as they grow up. Here are a few that I see being key issues for the individual sexes as they grow.
Girls
- Modesty – teaching little girls to dress modestly is key. I know how difficult it is to find clothes that are fashionable and modest. There aren’t a lot of options out there. This is just another example of the world attempting to communicate something to your children. Teaching young ladies to be modest is critical. I’m not talking about ankle length skirts, and loose fitting sweaters at all times, but I wouldn’t put my daughter (if the Lord chooses to bless me with children) in some of the things I’ve seen…even at church. Time to stir the pot: If mom doesn’t dress with modesty, how can we expect young girls to dress modestly? There is a way to be fashionable, cool, without “prudish”? Ask yourself the hard questions. Your 4 year olds and 7 year olds are forming life-long habits and worldview shaping thoughts right now.
- Beauty – All little girls want to be beautiful, and they want to be treated as such. Teach your young ladies the real meaning of beauty. 1 Peter 3:3-4 are verses that every little girl should memorize deep in their hearts.
Boys
- Eyes – one of the best things you can learn as a young man is to learn how to “bounce” your eyes. Teach young boys good eye contact skills. If they’ve learned to always look someone in the eye when they’re talking, it may keep them from looking “other places” as they get older.
- Self-control – this is foundational for any kind of success in life, and especially in the world they are going to grow up in. Help your young men learn to control themselves. Model it for them. Reward and appreciate them when they show self-control.
Come back for the last one...later this week!
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