REPOST: Christmas Tips for Dad

Every year, I re-post this same thing, because I think it's that important...

Now's the time, Dads! The Christmas season gives you lots of opportunities to create memorable moments in the lives of your children. Fight the temptation to fall into the same old patterns, or even worse, stress/worry yourself so much that Christmas time isn't the joyful time it was intended to be. Here's a list of things you need to be thinking about and challenging yourselves with.

#1 – Dad needs a plan for the holidays to ensure his family is loved and memories are made. Dad, what’s your plan?

#2 – Dad needs to check the local guides for what’s going on to make fun holiday plans for the family.

#3 – Dad needs to carve out time for sacred events and experiences to build family traditions that are fun and point to Jesus. Dad, is your calendar ready for December?

#4 – Dad needs to not let the stress of the holidays, including money, cause him to be grumpy with Mom or the kids. Dad, how’s your joy?

#5 – Dad needs to give experiences and not just gifts. Dad, what special memories can you make this holiday season?

#6 – Dad needs to manage the extended family and friends during the holidays. Dad, who or what do you need to say “no” to?

#7 – Dad needs to ensure his family is giving generously during the holidays. Dad, who in need is your family going to adopt and bless?

#8 – Dad needs to schedule a big Christmas daddy date with his daughter. Dad, what’s your big plan for the fancy daddy date?

#9 – Dad needs to schedule guy time with his son. Dad, what are you and your son going to do that is active, outdoors, and fun?

#10 – Dad needs to help Mom get the house decorated. Dad, are you really a big help to Mom with getting things ready?

#11 – Dad needs to ensure some holiday smells and sounds. Dad, is Christmas music on the iPod, is the tree up, and can you smell cookies and cider in your house?

#12 – Dad needs to snuggle up and watch some fun shows with the kids, especially the little ones. Dad, is the DVR set?

#13 – Dad needs to take the family on a drive to see Christmas lights while listening to music and sipping cider. Dad, is it mapped out?

#14 – Dad needs to help Mom get the kids’ rooms decorated. Dad, do the little kids get lights or a small tree in their room?

#15 – Dad needs to read about Jesus and pray over his kids. Dad, how’s your pastoral work going with each of your kids?

#16 – Dad needs to repent of being lazy, selfish, grumpy, or just dumping the holidays on Mom. Dad, are you a servant like Jesus to your family?

This list was developed by Mark Driscoll - Daddy Christmas Tips

Things I Love Too Much...

Last Saturday, I posted something on Facebook. I didn't think much about it at the time. I think, originally, my intent was to be a little comical and a little confessional. Here's what I wrote...

"There are some things in life that I love too much...#1 on that list...college football! (cut me some slack...at least I'm admitting that I have a problem)."

It's true. There are...

• Things that I love too much.
  
• Things that my affections are tied to.
• Things that I care about way more than I should.
• Things that are far from eternal.
• Things of which I need to confess.
• Things that hold too much sway over my emotions.
• Things that take way too much of the time I've been allotted on the earth.
• Things that I get more excited over than the worship of God on Sunday mornings.

All that to say, I don't have any plans to never watch a college football game again...I'm just wondering how much I love it. I'm trying to ask myself some of the hard questions that most people are really afraid to ask themselves.

So, here's the question for you today. What are those "things" for you? What are the "things" that you love way too much? An even scarier question...for those of you who are parents, what does that communicate to the little eyes that are constantly watching you from every angle?

It's a scary thought...but wasting your life on "things" that don't matter is an even scarier thought...at least for me.

The Apple Doesn't _________________

Can you finish the sentence?

It's an old cliche, but it's probably true...the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. I've been thinking about that a lot recently, since I will be meeting Lauren and I's little "apple" in November. If I'm honest, I'm kind of scared that he'll be just like me.

When someone uses that line, it is usually with a negative connotation. There are definitely times in life, where you're going to look at your kids and say "that's in THEM, because of ME, and I wish that weren't the case." But what about the positive potential that this statement holds? There are also positive traits/characteristics/habits that your kids are in them because you possess them.

Here's where I'm going with this...there's one area of life, where this statement is most definitively true...your relationship with God and your own spiritual growth. Many folks falsely assume that if I bring my kids to church, they'll grow spiritually. It's not that easy.

There are no guarantees that any of our children will grow up loving God and desiring to follow Him with their lives, but I do know this...they have a better chance of understanding what that's all about if they have parents in their life who are modeling that for them and doing their best to live out a genuine and real relationship with God in front of them.

If it's not in YOU...it's probably not going to be in THEM! When it comes to spiritual growth and desire for God, the old adage is true...the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

Pursuing...

One of the things that can happen, as kids get older, is that parents feel less and less "connected" with their kids. Young teenagers start to get their "wings" and start to move into greater areas of independence. Kids can often begin to think that they don't "need" their parents as much as they used to need them.

But one thing will not change...that you, as a parent, have the greatest potential to influence your children (regardless of their age). In that vein, I read an article with a huge tip about how to deal with your kids as they get older, crave more independence, and don't necessarily think they "need" mom and dad again.


Be the Pursuer


Thoughts?

"Independence Day"

My father served in the military for 27 years, and so I have a fond appreciation and deep respect for those who serve and protect us. On days like this, I'm reminded of the sacrifices that have been made so that we can enjoy freedoms.

But, as I was thinking about this day coming up, I couldn't help but think of the GREATEST sacrifice that was made to grant us true, real, eternal FREEDOM.

• "...and you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you FREE." John 8:32
• "For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin - because anyone who has died has been FREED from sin." Romans 6:6-7
• "...Jesus Christ...who loves us and has FREED us from our sins by His blood..." Revelation 1:5

So, celebrate the birthday of our country and remember the sacrifice made by those who bought it for us. But also remember what real Independence and Freedom is about.

Forgiveness...

One of the hardest lessons that I've ever learned (Actually...I'm still learning it), is how to forgive someone who has wronged you. I'm not talking about when someone says something innocent that hurts your feelings or rubs you the wrong way...I'm talking about when someone has willfully and purposefully done something meant to harm you.

All this month at Firewheel, elementary-age kids are learning about Forgiveness. Here's a video that helped me out tremendously, and it might also help you continue the conversation as a parent week after week.

VIRTUE VIDEO: FORGIVENESS (May 2011) from Orange on Vimeo.

One day you're a hero, and the next....

One of the most interesting parts of the last week of Jesus' life to me is the scene we have when Jesus comes in to Jerusalem riding a donkey. Sometimes it's referred to as the "Triumphal Entry," and it was just that. Jesus was on His way to triumph over sin and death.

One day the crowds are celebrating the arrival of the Messiah. They shout out "Hosanna, Hosanna." Translated - "He Saves!" Growing up in Louisiana, my first picture of this parade and procession reminds me of a Mardi Gras parade. I imagine this moment as complete chaos and frenzy.

Here's the most interesting thing about this story. In just 4 or 5 days, this SAME crowd is shouting out "Crucify Him, Crucify Him!" Jesus went from having the adoration of all the people to being hated enough that the crowd was willing to crucify him and have a murderer/robber in their midst (Barabas). What a turn of events!


I'm sure as a parent, there are times when you are the hero, and then a few days later, you're absolutely hated. There's good news...Jesus knows how that feels. His example to us is that regardless of what others are saying, continue doing what God has called you to do. And what he's called you to do is raise your children in a way that would honor Him.

So, next time the "crowd" at your house or in your community are singing your praises or calling for your demise, you've got a job to do! Stay focused on it!

Throwback Thursday #8

For some who haven't been around here that long, this website is a few years old, and there are wonderful things that I'd like to put in front some of our "newbies" and remind some of the rest of you about. So, we're revisiting some early posts each week on Thursdays!

Original post below:

Gauges

Every car has them...most factories are full of them. We've become so accustomed to seeing them, that we DON'T see them...or at least we don't pay attention to them very often. What am I talking about - gauges? Those little devices on your dash that give you vital information about the operation of your car.

Well, the family has "gauges" as well. How else will you know how your family is operating? Pay attention to the "gauges." They are there to make sure your familiy runs optimally. Here are a couple of gauges from a recent article I read...


1. The “speedometer” - This is the “pacing” question. Are we moving at a healthy pace that we can sustain or are we running “in the red?” We can’t just monitor the things from ministry that directly include us, but we must also factor in the other things that make life what it is: soccer, gymnastics, the kids’ school, health, marriage, money and home repairs. I never make this health assessment alone. Men are not typically emotionally intuitive and can be blind to the relational redlining occurring. If you don’t believe me, just ask your wife. She will tell you the real truth.

2. The “RPM”s - This is the stress question. How hard are we pushing to make this thing go? Are we shifting gears smoothly in our relationships or are we “grinding the gears” like a 16-year-old boy driving a stick shift for the first time with his critical Dad in the passenger seat? Do Mom and Dad need more time together--alone? Is more time or energy needed with a particular child? You can usually “listen to the engine” through the tone of the conversations taking place in home to monitor the stress level in the home.

3. The “gas” gauge - This is the margin question. Every ministry family I know is strapped for time and often other resources. The families that go the distance are the ones that have enough gas in their tank for the long haul. They are consciously and consistently refueling through weekly days off, “Date Nights,” “Daddy Dates,” vacations and daily spiritual tune-ups to keep the engine running more efficiently. Again, if you want to know exactly how much gas is really in the family or marriage tank, ask your wife. She knows.


Taken from - The Family Dashboard

It's got to be in YOU first...

One of my favorite author/pastors is John Piper. When he was asked about how to teach children about God and have them memorizing Scripture, his answer was simple (below). He reminded us once again, that you can't expect something to be in them, if it's not IN you. Passion for God and the Scriptures in his words will "spill over," but only if it's real in your own life.

How can parents help their kids memorize the Bible?

What an awesome reminder!

Throwback Thursday #6

For some who haven't been around here that long, this website is a few years old, and there are wonderful things that I'd like to put in front some of our "newbies" and remind some of the rest of you about. So, we're revisiting some early posts each week on Thursdays!

Original post below:

Family Rituals

The other day, I remembered one of the traditions my family had. After every Sunday night church service, my dad would take my sister and I to Taco Bell. We loved it. My dad loved it because he took us "out to eat" and the whole family could eat for around $12. Even in his frugality, my father was doing something very important...establishing family rituals. For my sister and I, we looked forward to it all week, and I'm sure he did as well. It was one of those things we did as a family. There were many more "rituals" in our family and each of them bring some fond memories.

I was reading an article on the Psychology Today website, and it was talking about the importance of family rituals.. The premise of the article was that these family rituals are simple, yet powerful gifts to your children. They listed a few characteristics that make family rituals so powerful.

Here are the characteristics it lists as:

• They are low-key that everyone likes to participate
• They allow time to talk and socialize, but they don't require deep conversation
• They need to be done regularly and predictably
• They need to balance regularity and flexibility.

Link to Article - Simple Gifts

Husbands, Fathers, and Thermostats

As a child, one of the things I knew never to touch in my house was the thermostat. There was only one person or entity who had control over the temperature of the house and the electricity it would cost to achieve that temperature...and that person was my dad. Now, I don't remember being sweated out during the summer to save a few bucks. I don't remember having to run in place to keep warm during the winter. But one thing was for sure...my dad was on the frugal side and us kids didn't touch the thermostat.

I was reminded about that the other day, and just how true this phrase is... "Husbands/Fathers, set the temperature for the home." I think that's probably true for the actual thermostat (most men want control of that thing...just like the remote), but I KNOW it's true when it comes to the emotional and spiritual well-being of your family. Husbands/Fathers, you set the temperature.

They will follow your lead...good or bad...even when we don't want them to follow our lead...so rely on the power of the Spirit...and lead well!

Husbands/Fathers, what's the "temperature" in your home?

Some things are impossible...

I'm not trying to be a "Debbie Downer" or anything, but there are just some things that you can't do. No matter how hard you try, you're not going to be able to accomplish them. When it comes to parenting, there are days where you might feel like that list of impossibilities is bigger than ever. One of my favorite authors (and one I couldn't recommend more highly), Paul Tripp, recently talked about the impossibilities he had to face as a parent.


Take a minute and read Paul Tripp about the "joyful impossibility of parenting." It's definitely worthy of your time.


Parenting: The Joyful Impossibility

Repost: Christmas Tips for Dads

This is a re-post from last Christmas...but it's well worth it!

Now's the time, Dads! The Christmas season gives you lots of opportunities to create memorable moments in the lives of your children. Fight the temptation to fall into the same old patterns, or even worse, stress/worry yourself so much that Christmas time isn't the joyful time it was intended to be. Here's a list of things you need to be thinking about and challenging yourselves with.

#1 – Dad needs a plan for the holidays to ensure his family is loved and memories are made. Dad, what’s your plan?

#2 – Dad needs to check the local guides for what’s going on to make fun holiday plans for the family.

#3 – Dad needs to carve out time for sacred events and experiences to build family traditions that are fun and point to Jesus. Dad, is your calendar ready for December?

#4 – Dad needs to not let the stress of the holidays, including money, cause him to be grumpy with Mom or the kids. Dad, how’s your joy?

#5 – Dad needs to give experiences and not just gifts. Dad, what special memories can you make this holiday season?

#6 – Dad needs to manage the extended family and friends during the holidays. Dad, who or what do you need to say “no” to?

#7 – Dad needs to ensure his family is giving generously during the holidays. Dad, who in need is your family going to adopt and bless?

#8 – Dad needs to schedule a big Christmas daddy date with his daughter. Dad, what’s your big plan for the fancy daddy date?

#9 – Dad needs to schedule guy time with his son. Dad, what are you and your son going to do that is active, outdoors, and fun?

#10 – Dad needs to help Mom get the house decorated. Dad, are you really a big help to Mom with getting things ready?

#11 – Dad needs to ensure some holiday smells and sounds. Dad, is Christmas music on the iPod, is the tree up, and can you smell cookies and cider in your house?

#12 – Dad needs to snuggle up and watch some fun shows with the kids, especially the little ones. Dad, is the DVR set?

#13 – Dad needs to take the family on a drive to see Christmas lights while listening to music and sipping cider. Dad, is it mapped out?

#14 – Dad needs to help Mom get the kids’ rooms decorated. Dad, do the little kids get lights or a small tree in their room?

#15 – Dad needs to read about Jesus and pray over his kids. Dad, how’s your pastoral work going with each of your kids?

#16 – Dad needs to repent of being lazy, selfish, grumpy, or just dumping the holidays on Mom. Dad, are you a servant like Jesus to your family?

This list was developed by Mark Driscoll - Daddy Christmas Tips

Connecting with your kids...

Every parent wants to do it. Some are better at it than others. Here's a link to 10 helpful ideas of how you can connect more with your kids. I think a couple of these could easily turn into memorable moments. Enjoy!

10 Ideas for Connecting With Your Kids

When you look back...

Reggie Joiner is one of my major ministry influences. The best way to say it is that the way he thinks and talks just makes "sense" to me. He wrote a post the other day geared toward parents, and I just had to share it.

In it, he talks about going to the same vacation spot for many years, and how, as he reflected, he talks about wishing wishes he knew things about parenting that he only learned after his kids were grown. Hopefully, you can learn a bit from him! [link below]

Looking Back

Enjoy!

The Second Shift...

I read an interesting article the other day about some recent research. The basic premise of the article was that in a study of nearly 4,000 couples in the UK, the frequency of divorce was directly related to how much (or how little) the husband helped his wife with tasks such as housework, watching the kids, etc. Seems like a no-brainer, but so few men really get this principle.

Read the article for yourself

Here's my conclusion...and this is based on Scripture, and not some article or research. Dads...if you're not helping around the house...get up off your lazy backside and do stuff. We don't have any excuses. Our call is to serve our families and our wives first and think of our own needs last. So, next time you change that diaper...or cook a meal...or take the kids outside to play to give your wife a break, remember that you're keeping your family healthy and strong

We should be men of the "Second Shift" because our work doesn't end when we get home. In fact, our most important job starts WHEN we get home.

How to start a conversation with a kid...

Some people are just naturals when it comes to talking to kids. They talk to them so effortlessly.

Others have a more difficult time. They look at the child sitting in front of them, and wonder (hopefully silently), "how in the world do you understand these things"?

So many times, the struggle is learning how to start a converstation. Because as many of us know, once you get some kids started, they'll go on and on and on. Cue - awesome website link.

100 Questions to Start a Conversation with a Child

So, even if you're great at talking with kids (even your kids), this article can't hurt. Learn how to start great conversations with your kids.

Airplane Mode

When's the last time you went into "airplane mode"? Before every flight begins, there's an announcement to turn off and stow all personal electronic devices. These things include cell phones, iPods, laptops, etc.

These are all great tools for connection, but there are so many times in life where these devices often hinder "real" connection. They can often hinder connection for those who matter most to us...our spouses and/or our children. We are connected and disconnected all at the same time. It's quite the paradox.

I'll confess to you, that I love my phone. I especially love being able to get on the internet from it, check facebook with it, get my email, and text. What I don't love about it is how often I can find myself way too dependent on it, and ignorant of what is going on around me.

So, here's the question for the day. When are you going into "airplane mode" next? When are you going to shut it all off for an extended period of time and just "connect." Maybe you need to shut it off to connect with your Heavenly Father, or perhaps, you need to shut it off and reconnect some with your family.

We've got a holiday weekend coming up...it might be the perfect time!

Gauges

Every car has them...most factories are full of them. We've become so accustomed to seeing them, that we DON'T see them...or at least we don't pay attention to them very often. What am I talking about - gauges? Those little devices on your dash that give you vital information about the operation of your car.

Well, the family has "gauges" as well. How else will you know how your family is operating? Pay attention to the "gauges." They are there to make sure your familiy runs optimally. Here are a couple of gauges from a recent article I read...



1. The “speedometer” - This is the “pacing” question. Are we moving at a healthy pace that we can sustain or are we running “in the red?” We can’t just monitor the things from ministry that directly include us, but we must also factor in the other things that make life what it is: soccer, gymnastics, the kids’ school, health, marriage, money and home repairs. I never make this health assessment alone. Men are not typically emotionally intuitive and can be blind to the relational redlining occurring. If you don’t believe me, just ask your wife. She will tell you the real truth.

2. The “RPM”s - This is the stress question. How hard are we pushing to make this thing go? Are we shifting gears smoothly in our relationships or are we “grinding the gears” like a 16-year-old boy driving a stick shift for the first time with his critical Dad in the passenger seat? Do Mom and Dad need more time together--alone? Is more time or energy needed with a particular child? You can usually “listen to the engine” through the tone of the conversations taking place in home to monitor the stress level in the home.

3. The “gas” gauge - This is the margin question. Every ministry family I know is strapped for time and often other resources. The families that go the distance are the ones that have enough gas in their tank for the long haul. They are consciously and consistently refueling through weekly days off, “Date Nights,” “Daddy Dates,” vacations and daily spiritual tune-ups to keep the engine running more efficiently. Again, if you want to know exactly how much gas is really in the family or marriage tank, ask your wife. She knows.


Taken from - The Family Dashboard

Summer in the suburbs...

Summer is approaching. I ran into a great article the other day tools you can use to connect with people outside the church during the summer in the 'burbs.

Summer in the Suburbs

Are there any more ideas you have?