Friday Media

Do you have prayers that you repeat on a consistent basis for your kids...

...I guess I should start at the beginning and ask if you are praying for your children on a daily basis?

Either way, so much is communicated in a prayer, and so much is taught about who God is to our children by the way we pray, how often we pray, and the things we focus on when we pray.

I ran across this video the other day and loved it. It's a dad talking about a certain prayer that gets repeated over and over in his house for and from his young son.

Praying for Your Children from Desiring God on Vimeo.

God, make me a man.
Make me a man who's tough,
Tough so I can handle life.
God, make me a man who's tender
Tender so I can love people
God, make me a man.


Are there certain topics that dominate your prayers for your children?

How have you taught your children to pray for the right kinds of things?

Are there things that get repeated over and over again in your prayers as a family?

What are some ways you can "teach" through prayer in the context of your family?

Family Devotional 101 (Part 4 of 4)

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, I'm going to take on a couple of different topics that will require some length. So, I'll break it into "bite-size" chunks!

Family Devotional 101 (Part 4)

A Plea to Dads

Dads, please hear my heart. Take the lead in your family. The Bible tells you to do it. With leadership comes responsibility. The Lord hasn’t given you leadership for your own sake but that you could serve your family. Leadership and responsibility work hand in hand.

I know it’s hard. I know you’re busy, and that there are so many days during the week that you come home exhausted and want to curl up in the bed. I know that sometimes you don’t feel strong enough spiritually to lead your family. The admittance of that to yourself and to your family is a wonderful example to them that you’re not “there” yet either.

I’m pleading with you, on behalf of an entire generation. Don’t let someone else, some TV show, or some other influence mold and shape your children. God gave them to you as a gift, to do your best with them for as many years as you have them. Find time with them every day to talk about the things of God.

Final Encouragement

You can do this…You must do this! Don’t leave the discipleship of your children to someone else, even if you feel like you’re not adequately prepared. Parents are the single most important influence in a child’s life. That can be a scary thought. It ought to produce fear and trepidation in the hearts of parents. But there’s a good kind of fear, the kind of fear that pushes us to keep pressing forward, to keep trying, and to never give up.

Family Devotional 101 (Part 3 of 4)

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, I'm going to take on a couple of different topics that will require some length. So, I'll break it into "bite-size" chunks!

Family Devotional 101 (Part 3)

What should I do during this “devotional” time

I want to do my best to take the stigma off of “family devotional time.” Most people hear that phrase and they get really nervous, thinking that they have to have a grand 4-year plan for working through all the stories of the Bible. It really doesn’t have to be that hard, and if you were to over-plan or super-prepare, you might come off as cold and stale.

The number one thing you can do is to…Read the Bible! Read the Bible! Read the Bible! Why?

“The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes...More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb. Moreover, by them your servant is warned; in keeping them there is great reward.” Psalm 19:7-11

“How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:9-11

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16

There are so many more passages that talk about the impact of Scripture in our lives. It’s amazing how much kids get out of reading the Bible. Take a passage of Scripture. You can even have the kid(s) read it for the family. Then simply discuss what they heard, observed, learned, and think about that particular Bible passage.

Try an experiment. Open up to a story of passage of Scripture. Read it together as a family, and then ask a very simple question, “What did you think about what the Bible just said?” You’ll be amazed what a kid will come up with as an answer to that question. It doesn’t have to be long. You can do this in 10 minutes or less, but the impact may be far greater.

So many times, we get wrapped up in trying to teach our children all the books of the Bible and every detail of every Bible story. We don’t need any more Christians who grow up with huge heads (filled up intellectually about God) and tiny, weak hearts (with no passion for God). Personally, if I had to choose, I’d rather have a whole generation of kids who grow up knowing a couple of very simple things that have really gripped them and make a difference in their lives on a daily basis. I want them to know that every thing we have is a gift of God through his grace, including salvation. I want them to know that they can trust God in all situations (good and bad). I want them to know what it means for them to “love their neighbor” and actually do it. You don’t have to be the world’s best Bible teacher to do this! Pick out a couple of big ideas that you want your kids to know and believe with everything they are, and be relentless.

Another really important facet of a “family devotional time” is prayer. I implore you to teach your kids to pray. Model for them how to come to the throne of God and converse with God about what’s going on in their lives. Teach them to not only pray for themselves or the things that affecting them, but teach them, more importantly, to pray for others. Pray for your neighbors. Pray for your family. Pray for their siblings. Pray for their friends. Pray for missionaries around the world.

Do your best to model for them the kind of honesty that prayer requires before God. Pray, pray, and pray some more. Pray without ceasing!

The last part/conclusion is coming up on Monday...see you then!

Family Devotional 101 (Part 2 of 4)

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, I'm going to take on a couple of different topics that will require some length. So, I'll break it into "bite-size" chunks!

Family Devotional 101 (Part 2)


When’s the best time

The real answer to that question is…ANYTIME. Anytime is the best time. Whatever works for you as a family within the natural flow of the day.

A natural time to do this is during a meal time or right before bed. It really depends on when you can get everyone in your family in the same room at the same time (a very difficult task considering the realities of the modern family). Another possibility is the car. The average, suburban family spends hours in the car each week. Use that to your advantage.

What about kids on a different level

Most families, if they have multiple children will always have kids who are on different levels intellectually, emotionally, and especially, spiritually. Sometimes this can be difficult, especially with really young children.

The Scriptures are applicable to everyone. Having said that, they are not always applicable in the same way. As your children get older, it will be extremely important to teach them how to apply the Bible to their individual, daily lives. That’s why open-ended thought provoking questions are a must. One kid might be dealing with a bully situation. Another may have some issues with how they use their tongues. You’re in this together as a family. Every part of the family affects the other, and I would venture to believe that your kids will learn from each other as much as they learn from you.

Still more to come...stay tuned!

Family Devotional 101 (Part 1 of 4)

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, I'm going to take on a couple of different topics that will require some length. So, I'll break it into "bite-size" chunks!

Family Devotional 101 (Part 1)

The Question:

Should a family do devotions together? Why is it so important? Can you give me some tips on how to do this with a family that has so many different age kids who aren’t on the same level? Is it okay to do individual devotions for our children or do we need to find a time to do it all together?

Why should my family have a devotional time

If a child’s parents are supposed to be the #1 spiritually-shaping influence in a child’s life, then there are some things that are absolutely necessary. One of which is a consistent time where the Scriptures are opened, discussed, and applied. There is no way that parents can do raise spiritually healthy children effectively without it. Church attendance is not enough. Listening to Christian radio or CD’s is not enough. Even forcing them to watch TBN isn’t enough (that’s a joke…please don’t do that). How can you pass down the faith, a love for the Scriptures, and a passion for our Heavenly Father, if you never spend any consistent time talking about those things and modeling how that’s done?

One of the easiest ways to do this is to have a daily and intentional time where the things of God are discussed. Children are forming habits that will last them a lifetime. Imagine if from the earliest days a child can remember, they remember a daily time where they heard God’s word or talked about how amazing God is. I have a sneaking suspicion that those particular children will have a better shot at developing a daily time with God for themselves later on in life. It also must be intentional. Time with God doesn’t just happen by accident. If you don’t plan or make a plan, it’s just not going to happen.

The reality is that most families (please don’t hear a guilt trip here…I’m just pointing out realities for the average American family) spend more time talking about their children’s extra curricular activities (soccer, dance, etc.) or a particular TV show than they spend talking about God. The average family gets more “excited” watching a football game or other sporting event than they do when God reveals a little more of Himself to them. Now, I know that all of our families are the exception, but I’m just asking you to think about what we give our energies toward.

More coming later in the week!

What are you focusing on...

The other day I ran across an interesting article. I found it to be an interesting read, and wanted to pass it along.

Biblical Parenting vs. Gospel Parenting

Here's the only issue I have with his article...biblical parenting is gospel parenting! In other words, gospel parenting is the biblical way to parent. Do you get what I'm saying or am I just confusing you (as I confuse myself)?

What I enjoyed about the article is the distinction of focus when it comes to how you parent? The kinds of truths you attempt to point your children toward in those critical moments of parenting is a BIG deal.

Your thoughts?

Friday Media...

One of the great things that has started to happen in the last decade is this deep look into one of the "unwanted" or "undesired" outcomes of children who grow up in church. We've all heard the statistics about how many of the kids who grow up in church and yet, when they reach adulthood, they leave the church/faith.

There's all kinds of things I could say here...in fact, I have my own ideas/opinions/hypothesis, about why this tends to happen.

There's a study coming out of Fuller Seminary in CA called "Sticky Faith." When I heard the main thesis of the book, it matched many of the thoughts that I had about this phenomenon. It's set to release later this year, but the authors have provided a bit of summary for us. It's an audio podcast summarizing their findings.

Sticky Faith - Summary - Audio

I think this is something you should listen to and consider in your own parenting!

The Apple Doesn't _________________

Can you finish the sentence?

It's an old cliche, but it's probably true...the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. I've been thinking about that a lot recently, since I will be meeting Lauren and I's little "apple" in November. If I'm honest, I'm kind of scared that he'll be just like me.

When someone uses that line, it is usually with a negative connotation. There are definitely times in life, where you're going to look at your kids and say "that's in THEM, because of ME, and I wish that weren't the case." But what about the positive potential that this statement holds? There are also positive traits/characteristics/habits that your kids are in them because you possess them.

Here's where I'm going with this...there's one area of life, where this statement is most definitively true...your relationship with God and your own spiritual growth. Many folks falsely assume that if I bring my kids to church, they'll grow spiritually. It's not that easy.

There are no guarantees that any of our children will grow up loving God and desiring to follow Him with their lives, but I do know this...they have a better chance of understanding what that's all about if they have parents in their life who are modeling that for them and doing their best to live out a genuine and real relationship with God in front of them.

If it's not in YOU...it's probably not going to be in THEM! When it comes to spiritual growth and desire for God, the old adage is true...the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

A little Friday media...

It's become the custom of the blog to pass along some good media on the topic of parenting. This particular author, Elyse Fitzpatrick has a fantastic book out there on parenting...I would recommend it to anyone.


Here she is talking about her newest book... (video below)





Gospel-Centered Parenting - if you can't see the embedded video

A Little More Friday Media...

As you can imagine, I read a lot of stuff about kids/parenting/etc. It's just part of my job...one of those parts that I really enjoy.

There are few people who are writing/speaking in Christian circles that I trust more than Paul Tripp. His approach to parenting, marriage, kids, and family is refreshing. What I particularly appreciate is how he refuses to let parents accept "correct external behavior" as the end goal of parenting. There is so much more to parenting and family issues...Paul continually takes people to the real "HEART" of the issues they're facing.

He recently participated in a video discussion (video below) about his newest resource, "Getting to the Heart of Parenting." I couldn't recommend his work more highly.





If you can't see the embedded video for some reason, you can follow this LINK to find the video.

His "apple nailing" analogy (approx. 32:00) in the middle of the video is something EVERY parent should listen to and consider in their own lives!

Below are some other recommended resources from Paul Tripp, if you like what you hear and want to dig deeper.

Marriage - What Did You Expect
Family - Getting to the Heart of Parenting (I have this one, if you'd like to check it out)
Teenagers - Age of Opportunity

It's Not the Church's Job...Only!

One of the subtle things people believe (even people in the church) is that it is somehow it is the church's job to teach their children the Bible.

In one sense, it is partially true. The church does have anywhere from 30-100 hours on average with a kid each year. But ready for some sobering numbers...they'll spend over 1,000 hours in school each year...and they'll spend approximately 3,000 hours a year under parental supervision/care.

Here's the point...if you're relying solely on the church to provide the entirety of your child's education about the Bible, God, relationship with Christ, etc...it's not going to be enough. In fact, how you read the Bible, talk about the Bible, and try your best to live out what the Bible says in your home/family will have a far greater impact than going to church once a week.

It's Up to Parents to Teach Children God's Word

Get in the game....you can do it. Let me know if you need some help knowing what to do or how to do it...it's one of the great joys of what I get to do each day!

Throwback Thursday #10

For some who haven't been around here that long, this website is a few years old, and there are wonderful things that I'd like to put in front some of our "newbies" and remind some of the rest of you about. So, we're revisiting some early posts each week on Thursdays!

Original post below:

Enough to be scared...

"My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared." - PJ Plauger

When I first read this quote, it completely stopped me in my tracks. I've found this to be true in life. When I hear someone talking about how they've got something completely figured out, they've mastered something, or how easy something is...I'm usually very cautious towards that person.

So as I was reflecting on this thought, I remembered a story about Socrates my first college history professor told when he opened up his first class of the semester. Apparently, one day, Socrates stood up in the middle of the assembly in Athens and said these famous words:

"I am the wisest man in Athens...because I know nothing...yet I know that I know nothing."

In my own life, I've seen this play out more times than I care to admit. The more I know, the more I realize that I don't really know. For many of you, that may be how you feel about parenting. The more you find out about this thing, the more you realize you don't know much at all. The more years you spend doing it, the more times you realize you might not be that great at it. That can be very humbling to think about, but there's good news. Our God has promised to give "grace to the humble" (James 4:6).

Some of the wisest and smartest people on earth are often some of the humblest. There's a way to approach life with humility, and my prayer is that you would approach parenting with that same humility. An approach that begins with the realization that no matter where you are in life, there is still so much to learn.

"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." (Proverbs 16:18)

"A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor." (Proverbs 29:23)

"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." (James 4:6)

Throwback Thursday #9

For some who haven't been around here that long, this website is a few years old, and there are wonderful things that I'd like to put in front some of our "newbies" and remind some of the rest of you about. So, we're revisiting some early posts each week on Thursdays!

Original post below:

Raising Children Who Are Confident in God

If you have a few minutes...or if you have a commute...do yourself a favor and listen to this message on raising children who are confident in God. One of your goals as a parent is to instill a belief and confidence in the God of the universe who loves each and every one of your children. How will be the next generation be impacted for Christ...listen up!

Raising Children Who Are Confident in God

If It's Not Awkward, It Might Not Be Working

Read a great post the other day about how parenting is often very "awkward." There are those tense moments in a grocery store, right after an offense is committed, or during an average run-of-the-mill Saturday that parenting can be very "awkward."

And yet, it's those "awkward" moments in parenting where your real stripes are earned. It's in those moments that you have a chance to fight for something better for your kids, rather than settling for status quo.

The Awkward Moments of Parenting

Read up...I'd love to hear about some of your own "awkward" moments in parenting!

It's got to be in YOU first...

One of my favorite author/pastors is John Piper. When he was asked about how to teach children about God and have them memorizing Scripture, his answer was simple (below). He reminded us once again, that you can't expect something to be in them, if it's not IN you. Passion for God and the Scriptures in his words will "spill over," but only if it's real in your own life.

How can parents help their kids memorize the Bible?

What an awesome reminder!

Throwback Thursday #5

For some who haven't been around here that long, this website is a few years old, and there are wonderful things that I'd like to put in front some of our "newbies" and remind some of the rest of you about. So, we're revisiting some early posts each week on Thursdays!


Original post below:

Healthy Discipline

While poking around the internet one day looking for resources for parenting, I ran into this little list. It's 10 principles for healthy discipline. I thought they were right on...

1. Goal set first. Proverbs 29:17 says, “Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.” You should understand the reason behind discipline. You are taking your children somewhere they need to go.
2. You should never discipline in anger. You will say things you do not mean and do things you should not do. Discipline done is anger is rarely productive and usually harmful long-term.
3. At the time of need for discipline, remember this 3-step process: Stop/Think/Proceed. The older your child gets the longer you can and may need to take with each step.
4. Be consistent in your discipline plan. It will mean nothing to the child otherwise.
5. Pre-think principles, but do not try to pre-plan specifics. You should have some value-centered, character-based goals you want discipline to promote in your child. You should avoid declaring what you will do when your child does something specific. Don’t ever say, for example, my child will never wear his hair long. You may regret those words someday.
6. Differentiate discipline for each child. To spank or not to spank should not be as big a deal as what works best for the child.
   
7. Do not make threats with which you are unwilling to follow through. Your children will catch on to that real quick.
8. Use age appropriate and action appropriate discipline. As a child matures the discipline should mature with them. At the same time, do not overkill a minor incident or ignore a major occurrence.
9. Always discipline the child for results. Discipline in its concept is not necessarily pleasant, but it reaps a reward if done right. Hebrews 12:11 says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
10. Discipline should never teach a child he or she is unloved. Actually, if done right, it should reinforce the love a parent has for the child. (Hebrews 12:7-10)

The list above was developed by fellow pastor, Ron Edmonson.


Anybody have any more they want to add to the list?

Throwback Thursday #3

For some who haven't been around here that long, this website is a few years old, and there are wonderful things that I'd like to put in front some of our "newbies" and remind some of the rest of you about. So, we're revisiting some early posts each week on Thursdays!


Original post below:

Interesting Research about Children and Church

After reading this article, I'm not sure what it all means for church leaders or for parents, but I do find this kind of research incredibly interesting. The thing with research is that it doesn't guarantee anything, but I did find the correlation between involvement at church as a young child/teenager and active faith in adulthood very interesting. What this article isn't saying is that your child is guaranteed to have an active faith as long as you bring them to church. It's far more complicated than that.

Childhood Experience Bearing Adult Fruit

Interruptions...they're going to happen...

Paul Tripp discusses how one of the key components/qualities of good parenting is "prepared spontaneity." Sounds like an paradox, but in reality you CAN prepare for the "interruptions" that will undoubtedly happen as a parent of children.


Read up, parents! - Parenting: It's Never an Interruption

This dude knows what he's talking about!

Some things are impossible...

I'm not trying to be a "Debbie Downer" or anything, but there are just some things that you can't do. No matter how hard you try, you're not going to be able to accomplish them. When it comes to parenting, there are days where you might feel like that list of impossibilities is bigger than ever. One of my favorite authors (and one I couldn't recommend more highly), Paul Tripp, recently talked about the impossibilities he had to face as a parent.


Take a minute and read Paul Tripp about the "joyful impossibility of parenting." It's definitely worthy of your time.


Parenting: The Joyful Impossibility

Happy or ________?

I was talking to one of our parents at Firewheel the other day, and we started talking about what they wanted for their children. Like almost every parent, they want the best for their child. What I liked about our conversation is that out of all the things they wanted for their children, they never mentioned "happiness."

So often, you hear parents who want their children to be happy. Don't get me wrong...I really do understand the heart behind what they are saying. The only problem with that, is that in the midst of their quest to give their children "happiness," they steal their child's opportunity to have something greater than merely "happiness." I know it's a very general thought, but I'm pretty sure it's true.

Happiness is so fleeting an idea anyway. One minute it's here...the next it's gone...completely! Because of this, the goal of parenting can't be to simply create happy kids, and once you've given your children enough happiness, you've arrived as a parent. There's got to be something more! There's got to be a bigger goal!


So, how would you fill in the blank (some of my first thoughts below)....


I want my child to be ______ before I want them just to be "happy."


(a lover of God, filled with joy, content, disciplined, compassionate, grateful, generous, growing, wise, etc.)


Any others that you would add to the list?